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Did you hear about the Buddhist who spilled his coffee while driving to work? He had bad kar-mug.

Q: What does a man and a floor have in common?
A: You lay them right the first time you can walk all over them

The State of Florida had a problem. The drug bust over the years had filled
their storage areas with Marijuana. It was decided the only option was to
burn all of the Marijuana on hand. The eventful day a huge mound of Marijuana
was torched. The fire raged and the smoke of the weed raised in a large cloud.
At this time a flock of Tern’s flew through this cloud.
A group of forest rangers (aka Their environmental watch dogs) were sent out
to assure the well-being of the Terns. They followed this flock until they
finally landed. The rangers sneaking upon the terns were able to observe and
issue a report that read: Not a Tern was left unstoned.

The District Attorney requested all the robbery victims to
come to the police station to study a lineup of five people. He placed
his suspect at the end of the line. Then he asked each to step forward
and say, “Give me all your money… and I need some change in quarters,
nickels and dimes.” The first four did it right. However, when it was
the last man’s turn to recite, he broke the case by blurting out,
“That isn’t what I said.”

The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked, “You know, I’ve lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?”


“Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere.”

© 2015