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A guy’s on the electric chair. The warden’s just about to pull the switch
when the guy gets the hiccups. The warden says, “Do you have any last
requests?” The guy says, “(hic) Yeah… (hic) could you please do (hic)
could you please do something to scare me?”

An out-of-towner accidentally drives his car into a deep ditch on the side of a country road. Luckily a farmer happened by with his big old horse named Benny.

The man asked for help. The farmer said Benny could pull his car out. So he backed Benny up and hitched Benny to the man’s car bumper.

Then he yelled, “Pull, Nellie, pull.”
Benny didn’t move.

Then he yelled, “Come on, pull Ranger.”
Still, Benny didn’t move.

Then he yelled really loud, “Now pull, Fred, pull hard.”
Benny just stood.

Then the farmer nonchalantly said,
“Okay, Benny, pull.”

Benny pulled the car out of the ditch.

The man was very appreciative but curious. He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name three times.

The farmer said, “Oh, Benny is blind, and if he thought he was the only one pulling he wouldn’t even try.”

If Radio Shack made toasters…
The staff would sell you a toaster, but not know anything
about it. You would be able to buy all the parts to build
your own toaster.

How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One to hold the giraffe and the other to fill the bathtub with
brightly colored machine tools.

What makes a man think he’s so great ?
1) He has a belly button that won’t work.
2) He has tits that won’t give milk.
3) He has a cock that won’t crow.
4) He has balls that won’t roll.
5) He has an ass that won’t carry a thing.

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