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A young lad was visiting a church for the first time, checking all the announcements and posters along the walls.

When he came to a group of pictures of men in uniform, he asked a nearby usher, “Who are all those men in the pictures?”

The usher replied, “Why, those are our boys who died in the service”.

Dumbfounded, the youngster asked, “Was that the morning service or the evening service?”

A judge was annoyed to find that his car wouldn’t start. He called a taxi, and soon one arrived at his house.

Climbing in, he told the driver to take him to the halls of justice. “Where are they,” asked the driver.

“You mean to say that you don’t know where the courthouse is?” asked the incredulous judge.

“The courthouse? Of course I know where that is.” replied the driver. “But I thought you said you wanted to go to the ‘halls of justice.'”

“Old Jethro’s next door’s a-makin’ moonshine again.” the wife
told her husband.

“How can you tell?” he asked. “Did you smell it?”

“Nope. But a bunch of mice from over to his place came over
here this morning and beat the shit out of our cats… “

What is the difference between a brown-noser and a shit-head?
Depth perception.

A furrier from the US goes to Helsinki to buy furs.
He arranges for a hooker to be sent to his room.

When they’re done, he said, “I’m afraid my
Finnish isn’t too good.”

The hooker replied, “Your foreplay ain’t all
that hot either.”



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