Joke's Database
Have fun searching 100181 jokes and pictures!

3 guyz get captured by canibals and the canibals took the 3 guyz 2 the king canibal deep within a forest. The king canibal says,”we will not eat you guyz on one condition, if each of you can get 10 of the same fruits and stick them up your butt hole without making any facial expression, we will let you live.” So the 3 guyz went out into the forest to find fruits. The first guy came back with 10 apples and came back to the king. He started sticking the apples up his but, 1, 2, 3, one pops out and he yelled,”ouch!! So they ate him and he died. The second guy came back with grapes, he started sticking them up his butt, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9….. he laughed. so he got eaten and died. The 2 guyz met in heaven and the first guy says,”hey u almost had it why did u laugh? The second guy says,” HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH, because i saw the second guy coming with pinapples!!!!

Q: Why did the chicken cross the playground?
A: To get to the other slide.

The other day I went to the local religious book store,
where I saw a HONK IF YOU LOVE JESUS bumper sticker. I bought it
and put it on the back bumper of my car, and I’m really glad I
did. What an uplifting experience followed. I was stopped at the
light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the
Lord, and didn’t notice that the light had changed. That bumper
sticker really worked! I found lots of people who love Jesus.
Why, the guy behind me started to honk like crazy. He must REALLY
love the lord because pretty soon, he leaned out his window and
yelled, “Jesus Christ!” as loud as he could. It was like a
football game with him shouting, “GO JESUS CHRIST,GO!”
Everyone else started honking, too, so I leaned out my window and
waved and smiled to all of those loving people. There must have
been a guy from Florida back there because I could hear him
yelling something about a sunny beach, and saw him waving in a
funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air.

I asked my two kids what that meant. They kind of squirmed,
looked at each other, giggled and told me that it was the
Hawaiian good luck sign. So, I leaned out the window and gave him
the good luck sign back. Several cars behind, a very nice black
man stepped out of his car and yelled something. I couldn’t hear
him very well, but it sounded like, “Mother trucker,” or
“Mother’s from there.” Maybe he was from Florida, too. He must
really love the lord. A couple of the people were so caught up in
the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and were
walking toward me. I bet they wanted to pray, but just then I
noticed that the light had changed, and stepped on the gas. And a
good thing I did, because I was the only driver to get across the
intersection. I looked back at them standing there. I leaned way
out the window, gave them a big smile and held up the Hawaiian
good luck sign, as I drove away. Praise the Lord for such
wonderful folks.

MAN: God, my girlfriend is so pretty and has such pretty hair. GOD: I know, I made her that way so you would love her.
MAN: God, she has such beautiful blue eyes. GOD: I know I made them for her so you would love her.
MAN: There is only one thing wrong with her. She is a little dense. GOD: I know..I made her that way so she could love YOU!

President Bill Clinton called Chretien with an emergency: Our largest
condom factory has exploded!” the American President cried, “My people’s
favourite form of birth control! This is a true disaster!”
“Bill, da Canadian pipple would be ‘appy to do anyt’ing wit’in der power
to ‘elp you,” replied the Prime Minister.
“I do need your help,” said Clinton. “Could you possibly send 1,000,000
condoms ASAP to tide us over?”
“Certainment! I get right on it!” said Chretien.
“Oh, and one more small favour, please?” said Clinton.
“Could the condoms be red, white & blue in colour, at least 10″ long and
4″ in diameter?” said Clinton.
“No problem,” replied the Prime Minister and, with that, Chretien hung up
and called the President of Trojan Condoms.
“I need a favour, you got to make 1,000,000 condoms right away and send
‘dem to Hamerica.”
“Consider it done,” said the President of Trojan.
“Great! Now listen, dey hab to be bleu, blanc et rouge in colour; at
least 10″ long and 4″ in diameter.”
“Easily done. Anything else?”
“Yah,” said the Prime Minister, “an’ print ‘MADE IN CANADA, SIZE MEDIUM’
on each one.”

© 2015