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Q: What is the difference between butter and a blonde?
A: Butter is difficult to spread.

A man was interviewing for a sales representative. One candidate would
have been ideal for the position except that he had a disconcerting
mannerism. He kept winking.
“Look here, I’d like to give you the job, you’ve got good references
and experience. The trouble is this trick you’ve got of winking all the
time, it might put our customers off.”
“No worries.” the candidate replied. “All I’ve got to do to get rid of
it is to take a couple of aspirins.”
So saying he began emptying his pockets. The employer was startled to
see dozens of condoms, multi coloured ones, ribbed ones, heavy duty
varieties and every known brand of standard condom.
“Here we are.” said the rep. He swallowed two aspirins and his winking
stopped at once.
“Thats all very well but we couldn’t hire a man who was going to be
womanising all over his territory.”
“Oh I wouldn’t dream of it, I’m happily married.”
“Then how do you account for all of these things?”
“Simple, Did you ever go into a chemist winking all the time and ask for
a packet of aspirins?”

A man is driving down the road and notices a car in the ditch. He doesn’t
usually help many people so he drives on by. Then he notices that a pretty
woman is the driver so he goes back to help. As he is hooking his truck to
her car he says, “You know, you are the first pregnant woman I’ve ever
helped out of a ditch”.
“But I’m not pregnant,” she says.
“Well you’re not out of the ditch yet,” he says.

A man walks into a shoe store…
… and tries on a pair of shoes.
“How do they feel?” asks the sales clerk.
“Well… they feel a bit tight.” replies the man.
The assistant promptly bends down and has a look at the shoes and the
mans feet.
“Try pulling the tongue out.” offers the clerk.
Nath theyth sthill feelth a bith tighth.” He says.

Victoria Beckham has announced that she has had an affair with Michael Jackson. Jacko has denied the allegations, as he claims he was in Brooklyn at the time!

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