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(sung to the tune of “God Rest ye Merry Gentlemen”)

The restroom door said gentlemen so I just walked inside,
I took two steps and realized I’d been taken for a ride.
I heard high voices, turned and found the place was occupied
By two nuns, three old ladies and a nurse –
What could be worse
Than two nuns, three old ladies and a nurse?

The restroom door said gentlemen, it must’ve been a gag,
As soon as I walked in there I ran into some old hag,
She sprayed me with a can of mace and smacked me with her bag
I could tell it just wouldn’t be my day,
What can I say?
It just wasn’t turning out to be my day.

The restroom door said gentlemen, and I would like to find
The crummy little creep who had the nerve to switch the sign,
‘Cause I’ve got two black eyes and one high heel up my behind!
Now I can’t sit with comfort and joy…
Boy, oh boy!
No, I’ll never sit with comfort and joy

Tombstone Epitaph In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:

Here lies an Atheist
All dressed up
And no place to go.

Q: How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: About one third less than for a regular bulb.

Q: When does a person decide to become an accountant?
A: When he realises he doesn’t have the charisma to succeed as an

An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy.

He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, “Pull, Nellie, pull!” Buddy didn’t move.

Then the farmer hollered, “Pull, Buster, pull!” Buddy didn’t respond.

Once more the farmer commanded, “Pull, Coco, pull!” Nothing.

Then the farmer nonchalantly said, “Pull, Buddy, pull!” And the horse easily dragged the car out of the ditch.

The motorist was most appreciative and very curious. He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name three times.

“Well… Buddy is blind and if he thought he was the only one pulling, he wouldn’t even try!”

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