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PSYCHOLOGY: Girl accuses guy of just using her as a substitute for his Mother.

SOCIOLOGY: Each claims to have been oppressed in the relationship.

ARCHAEOLOGY: One tries to bury the past, and accuses the other of trying to dig it up.

THEATRE: “OH! Life is… ENDED… as we KNOW it!”

BIOLOGY: “You just wanted to get in my genes!”

PHYSICS: Both resign themselves to the fact that what goes up must come down.

JOURNALISM: “Today was the end of an era. Jack, 19, and Jill, 18, called an end to their relationship of 2 weeks… ”

WOMEN’S STUDIES: “HE did it!”

BUSINESS: Both decide that they’re spending way too much money together, and that it’s simply cheaper to be single.

HISTORY: Each party argues the breakup was caused by something the other party did in the past.

GEOGRAPHY: Both people decide to simply move far away to avoid each other.

ANATOMY: “I never liked your body anyway.”

ECONOMICS: One party demands more than the other can supply.

A 70-year-old man has never been married. One day he meets a beautiful
17-year-old girl, and it is love at first sight. They get married and go
to Florida for their honeymoon. When they get back, his friend says to
him, “So, tell me, how was it?”
“Oh, it was beautiful,” says the man. “The sun, the surf, we made love
almost every night, we–”
His friend interrupts him. “A man your age! How did you make love almost
every night?”
“Oh,” says the man, “we almost made love Monday, we almost made love
Tuesday…”

Q: What do you get if put a blonde upside down?
A: A brunette with a bad breath.

A fellow stopped at a rural gas station and, after filling his tank, he paid the bill and bought a soft drink. He stood by his car to drink his cola and he watched a couple of men working along the roadside. One man would dig a hole two or three feet deep and then move on. The other man came along behind and filled in the hole. While one was digging a new hole, the other was about 25 feet behind filling in the old. The men worked right past the fellow with the soft drink and went on down the road. “I can’t stand this,” said the man tossing the can in a trash container and heading down the road toward the men.

“Hold it, hold it,” he said to the men. “Can you tell me what’s going on here with this digging?”

“Well, we work for the county government, ” one of the men said.

“But one of you is digging a hole and the other is filling it up. You’re not accomplishing anything. Aren’t you wasting the county’s money?”

“You don’t understand, mister,” one of the men said, leaning on his shovel and wiping his brow. “Normally there’s three of us–me, Rodney and Mike. I dig the hole, Rodney sticks in the tree and Mike here puts the dirt back.”

“Yea,” piped up Mike. “Now just because Rodney’s sick, that don’t mean we can’t work, does it?”

Q: DO I HAVE TO BE MARRIED TO HAVE SAFE FAX?
A: Although married people fax quite often, there are many single people who fax complete strangers every day.
Q: MY PARENTS SAY THEY NEVER HAD FAX WHEN THEY WERE YOUNG AND WERE ONLY ALLOWED TO WRITE MEMOS TO EACH OTHER UNTIL THEY WERE TWENTYONE. HOW OLD DO YOU THINK SOMEONE SHOULD BE BEFORE THEY CAN FAX?
A: Faxing can be performed at any age, once you learn the correct procedure.
Q: IF I FAX MYSELF, WILL I GO BLIND?
A: Certainly not, as far as we can see.
Q: THERE IS A PLACE ON OUR STREET WHERE YOU CAN GO AND PAY FOR FAX. IS THIS LEGAL?
A: Yes. many people have no other outlet for their fax drives and Must pay a “professional” when their needs to fax become too great.
Q: SHOULD A COVER ALWAYS BE USED FOR FAXING?
A: Unless you are really sure of the one you’re faxing, a cover sheet should be used to insure safe fax.
Q: WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I INCORRECTLY DO THE PROCEDURE AND I FAX PREMATURELY?
A: Don’t panic. Many people prematurely fax when they haven’t faxed in a long time. Just start Over; Most people won’t mind if you try again.
Q: I HAVE A PERSONAL AND BUSINESS FAX. CAN TRANSMISSIONS BECOME MIXED UP?
A: Being bi-faxual can be confusing, but as long as you use a cover with each one, you won’t transmit anything You’re not supposed to.



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