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What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?

A rumor

A woman goes into a bar and orders a beer. She grabs the beer and tips it
down the back of her skirt. The barman looks amazed as she orders another
and again tips it down her skirt.
Finally, the barman says: “Why are you tipping your drinks down your
skirt?”
“Well,” the chick replies, “I’ve just won the lottery and this is the only
arsehole I’m shouting!”

Charlie was in a bar and three babes came up and started hitting on
him. He asked if they
wanted to come over to his house later. They agreed to come over at
after they went home
and got ready. Charlie had a friend who worked in a drugstore, so he
went to see him. He
asked his friend if he had anything that would keep him hard all night
long. The man
laughed and handed him a bottle of pills instructing him not to take
more than one. Once at
home, Charlie figured with three women he should take three pills, so
he gulped them
down. The next day Charlie showed up at the drugstore to see his
friend. Asking for some
liniment, he showed him his dick which was ripped to shreds. In
disbelief, his friend asked
if he was sure that he wanted to put liniment on his dick. Charlie
replied “No,I need it for
my arms the women never showed up!”

A large family were going to have Thanks Giving dinner togther.

The two grandma’s of the family were sick of people eating the pudding the night before, so they hatched a plan.

They put BB Gun pellets in the pudding so they could see who ate it.

The next morning, Little Tommy came down from his room and said “Grannie, Grannie, there were BBGun pellets in my pee pee last night.”

Then Little Sally came down and said “Grandma, there was BB Gun pellets in my pee last night.”

Then Big Shaun came down yelling “Help! Help! I just shot my girlfriend in the mouth. She went down fine but came up with a hole going right through her tongue and out the side of her mouth!”

During the Six Day War, this division of Arabs is making its way across
the burning desert sands towards Israel, when the Arab commander, bouncing
along in his jeep, spots an aged Israeli on top a distant sand dune. The
commander drops his binoculars and shouts orders to a foot soldier to run
up ahead and kill the infidel Israeli. The soldier sprints ahead of the
advancing troops, and soon disappears over the sand dune. The general
stops the troops and waits to see what happens.

Nothing happens. The commander sends a whole platoon of soldiers to
investigate. All twelve Arabs disappear over the sand dune, never to be
seen again. The now-slightly-anxious commander dispatches 3 tanks to find
out just what in the heck is going on, and they disappear over the dune,
too. Sweat pours down the commander’s forehead as he orders his entire
division to overrun the solitary Israeli behind the sand dune.

But just then, the first soldier reappears on the distant sand dune and
cups his hands to his lips. “Go back!” he shouts. “Go back! It’s
hopeless– there’s TWO of them!”



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