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A man had been drinking at the bar for hours when he mentioned something
about his girlfriend being out in the car.
The bartender, concerned because it was so cold, went to check on her.
When he looked inside the car, he saw the drunk’s buddy, Pete, and his
girlfriend going at it in the back-seat. The bartender shook his head and
walked back inside. He told the drunk that he thought it might be a good
idea to check on his girlfriend.
The drunk staggered outside to the car, saw Pete and his girlfriend
entwined, then walked back into the bar laughing. “What’s so funny?” the
bartender asked.
“That damned Pete!” the drunk chortled, “He’s so drunk, he thinks he’s
me!”

What kind of bunny drinks coffee?
Mugs bunny!

What is pink and moist and split in the middle?
A grapefruit!

What if Mother Goose had tendencies and propensities toward verbosity and prolixity?

Jack becomes dexterous,
Jack becomes able to attain high velocity,
Jack forms a trajectory over the illuminating apparatus of
ozocitereous structure.

Mary was formerly the owner and proprietor of a pygmy Ovis aries,
It possessed an outer wool covering which had the characteristic
pallidness much like that found in the appearance of crystalline
precipitation,
And to each point in space that Mary would venture to,
The aforementioned Ovis aries would participate with a high degree of
certainty.

Diminutive Jack Horner
Was seated at the perpendicular conjunction of three planar surfaces,
Ingesting his baked Yuletide pastry.
He inserted his opposable digit,
And excavated a specimen of genus Prunus,
And remarked, “What a benevolent adolescent I have become!”

Lilliputian damsel Muffet
Was rested upon a squatty seating apparatus,
Ingesting the lacteal substances in her possession.
At this point arrived an arachnid
Which inhabited the immediate vicinity of the maiden,
And, true to the fundamental principles of stimulus and response,
arose trepidation in the damsel with sufficient efficiency so as
to induce the aforementioned maiden to change locale.

why did Santa Anna bring only 4000 troops to the Alamo?
he only had 2 cars.



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