Joke's Database
Have fun searching 100181 jokes and pictures!

Man in street market shouting ‘blow up dolls £40!’

A bloke sayes to him, ‘I bought one here yesterday and it went down on me … ‘

Man shouts ‘blow up dolls £80!!!’

Q. What’s O. J. Simpson’s Internet address?

A. Slash, slash, backslash, slash, slash, escape.

An 80-year-old couple were having problems remembering things, so they
decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was
wrong with them.

When they arrived at the doctor’s, they explained to the doctor about
the problems they were having with their memory. After checking the couple
out, the doctor told them that they were physically okay but might want to
start writing things down and make notes to help them remember things. The
couple thanked the doctor and left.

Later that night while watching TV, the old man got up from his chair
and his wife asked, “Where are you going?”

He replied, “To the kitchen.”

She asked, “Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?”

He replied, “Sure.”

She then asked him, “Don’t you think you should write it down so you can
remember it?”

He said, “No, I can remember that.”

She then said, “Well, I also would like some strawberries on top. You
had better write that down ’cause I know you’ll forget that.”

He said, “I can remember that! You want a bowl of ice cream with

She replied, “Well, I’d also like whipped cream on top. I know you’ll
forget that so you’d better write it down.”

With irritation in his voice, he said, “I don’t need to write that down!
I can remember that.” He then went fuming into the kitchen.

After about 20 minutes he returned from the kitchen and handed her a
plate of bacon and eggs.

She stared at the plate for a moment and said, “You forgot my toast.”

A man went to a gift store to buy his girlfriend a pair of gloves. He had the manager try them on. She said they were perfect, so he had the manager wrap them up. When the manager gave him the gift she accidentally gave him a pair of panties instead. When the girlfriend got the gift there was a note attached to it. The note read:

Dear Honey,

Hope you like the gift. The lady at the store said they were perfect. I had her try them on for me. She looked more like a lady. Oh, when you take them off be sure to wash them because they will be damp at times. I hope you will wear them for me Friday night.


PS:I can’t wait to take them off of you. The latest style is to wear them folded in with a little fur showing.

There are these two friends, a white guy and a black guy. One evening, they`re in a bar arguing over which of them can have sex the most times in one night. They decide to settle the issue by going to the local whorehouse and gathering experimental evidence, as it were.

So they get to the whorehouse, pair off with a couple of the ladies, and go to their respective rooms. The white guy energetically balls his whore and, reaching up with a pencil, makes a “|” mark on the wall. Then he falls asleep.

He wakes up in a couple of hours and screws the whore again, albeit a little less enthusiastically this time. Again, he reaches back and marks a “|” on the wall. Again, he falls asleep.

He wakes up again in a couple of hours and lethargically humps the hooker again. He drowsily marks another “|” on the wall and falls asleep for the rest of the night.

The next morning, the black guy barges into the white guy`s room to see how he did. He takes one look at the wall and exclaims, “A hundred and eleven?! Damn! You beat me by three.”

© 2015