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Teacher: Why are you picking your nose in class?
Pupil: My mother won’t let me do it at home!

Yo momma breath is so stank I look forward to her FARTS.
Yo momma cooks so badly yo family preys before they eat.
Yo momma has no teeth and they call her chewy.
Yo momma is like an Ice-cream cone every body gets a lick.
Yo momma like a bag of potato chips, “Free-To-Lay”.
Yo momma like a bowling ball she gets fingered thrown in the gutter and still comes back for more.
Yo momma like hardware stores 50 cents a screw.
Yo momma like a pony when you spank her she goes faster.
Yo momma like is like a hockey player she doesn’t change her pads for three periods.
Yo momma so black she got counted absent in night school!
Yo momma so black when she jumped in the pool, people screamed, “Oil spill”!!!!
Yo momma so dark she was trying to eat a tootsie roll, she ate her finger.
Yo momma so dirty I walked in your house and asked what was for dinner and yo momma jumped on the table spread her legs and said crabs.
Yo momma so greasy she uses a piece of bacon for a band-aid.
Yo momma so hairy that when you were born you got a carpet burn.
Yo momma so hungry that in 1951 she saw bus full of white people and said twinky!
Yo momma so nasty every time she craps she gotta take a shower because she can’t reach her butt to wipe it.
Yo momma so nasty I called her up for phone sex and she gave me an ear infection.
Yo momma so nasty she wipes her butts before she craps.
Yo momma so short she does back flips under the bed!
Yo momma so skinny she could hula-hoop in cheerio.
Yo momma so skinny she could stand under the shower and not even get wet.
Yo momma so slow that you asked her if she know any thing, she was speechless.
Yo momma so small she has to stand on a nickel to pee on a dime.
Yo momma so smelly she had to have right guard AND left guard.
Yo momma’s chest is as her back.
Yo momma’s teeth are so yellow she spit butter.
Yo momma’s teeth are so yellow she walks in the street and slows down traffic.

Q: Did you hear about the Polak who studied for 5 days?
A: He was scheduled to take a urine test.

Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
A: To see what was on the other side.

A little boy wanted $100.00 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write GOD a letter requesting the $100.
When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to GOD USA, they decided to send it to President Clinton. The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill. President Clinton thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.
The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 and sat down to write a thank you note to GOD, which read:
Dear GOD,
Thank you very much for sending the money, however, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington, DC and, as usual, those pen-pushers deducted $95.00.

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