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Question: What do you call a gay man’s scrotum?

Answer: Mud flaps!

Good girls loosen a few buttons when it’s hot. Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons.
Good girls only own one credit card and rarely use it. Bad girls only own one bra and rarely use it.
Good girls wax their floors. Bad girls wax their bikini lines.
Good girls blush during love scenes in a movie. Bad girls know they could do it better.
Good girls think they’re not fully dressed without a strand of pearls. Bad girls think they’re fully dressed with just a strand of pearls.
Good girls wear high heels to work. Bad girls wear high heels to bed.
Good girls say, “Don’t… Stop…” Bad girls say, “Don’t Stop…”

Once a couple were on vacation. The husband was lying on
the beach facing downwards on his stomach & the wife was
patting him on his butt. He happened to ask her what she
was doing, she said “I`m playing the Tabla” He turned around
& told her “Alright now you can start playing the flute”.

A fellow, who had spent his whole life in the desert, comes to visit
a friend. He’d never seen a train or the tracks they run on. While
standing in the middle of the railroad tracks one day, he hears this
whistle – Whooee da Whoee! – but doesn’t know what it is.

Predictably, he’s hit and is thrown to the side of the tracks. It was
only a glancing blow, so he was fortunate to receive some minor internal
injuries, a few broken bones, and some bruises.

After weeks in the hospital recovering, he’s at his friend’s house
attending a party one evening. While in the kitchen, he suddenly hears
the teakettle whistling. He grabs a baseball bat from the nearby closet
and proceeds to batter and bash the teakettle into an unrecognizable
lump of metal. His friend, hearing the ruckus, rushes into the kitchen,
sees what’s happened and asks the desert man, “Why’d you ruin my good
tea kettle?”

The desert man replies, “Man, you gotta kill these things when they’re

A man comes home with his little daughter, whom he has just taken
to work. The little girl asks, “I saw you in your office with your
secretary. Why do you call her a doll?”
Feeling his wife’s gaze upon him, the man explains, “Well, honey,
my secretary is a very hard-working girl. She types like you
wouldn’t believe, she knows the computer system and is very

“Oh,” says the little girl, “I thought it was because she closed
her eyes when you lay her down on the couch.”

© 2015