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On Jeopardy…

TREBEK: The category is “Political Subversion”. The answer is: This
entity is dedicated to the destruction of religion, morality, and the
American way of life.
PLAYER: What is the KGB?
TREBEK: Be more specific.
PLAYER: What is PBS?
TREBEK: Right!

Q: What do CIA agents have to remember to go to the bathroom?
A: The ZIP Code.

Creation. Evolution. Civilization. Exploration.
Colonization. Taxation. Representation. Declaration. Revolution.
Celebration. Constitutionalization. Election. Inauguration.
Succession. Institutionalization. Conflagration. Migration.
Plantation. Expansion. Destination Manifestation. Annexation.
Secession. Rebellion. Abolition. Emancipation Proclamation.
Assassination. Reconstruction. Industrialization. Assassination.
Invention. Transportation. Urbanization. Exploitation.
Stratification. Assassination. Unionization. Protection.
Regulation. Suffrage Extension. Balkanization. Destruction. League
of Nations. Prohibition. Immigration. Depression. Socialization.
Construction. Isolation. Deterioration. Penetration.
Fission-n-Fusion. Annihilation. Radiation. Polarization.
Militarization. Partition. Persecution. Automation. Failed
Invasion. Assassination. Investigation. Division. Demonstration.
Mind Alteration. Space Exploration. Bra Incineration. Obfuscation.
Resignation. Elation. Stupification. Abortion. Stagflation. Gas
Station. Computerization. Communication. Deregulation. Pollution.
Deforestation. Kinder, Gentler Nation. Reunification.
Reconciliation. Verification. Recession. Demarcation.
Obliteration. Glorification. Education.

A roving reporter from the BBC was touring a remote part of the
Scottish Highlands looking for material for a documentary about
the way of life there.

REPORTER:

Hello there, excuse me, I’m from the BBC and I’m gathering
material for a documentary about the way of life in the
remote parts of the Scottish Highlands. You look like an
interesting fellow, perhaps I could interview you?

SCOTSMAN:

Certainly…

REPORTER:

Well, perhaps you could start by telling me your name?

SCOTSMAN:

Well now there’s a story. Y’know I deliver the mail round
here, but do they call me Donald the Postman? No they don’t.

You see those fine crofts up on the hill there, well, I
built more than half of them myself, but do they call me
Donald the Croftbuilder? No, they don’t.

And did you pass the nets down in the harbour? Well, I made
several of them, but do they call me Donald the Netmaker? No,
they don’t.

But, I tell you, a moment’s weakness with just ONE sheep…

An Amish lady is trotting down the road in her horse and buggy when she is pulled over by a cop.
Ma’am, I’m not going to ticket you, but I do have to issue you a warning. You have a broken reflector on your buggy.
Oh, I’ll let my husband, Jacob, know as soon as I get home.
That’s fine. Another thing, ma’am. I don’t like the way that one rein loops across the horse’s back and around one of his balls. I consider that animal abuse. That’s cruelty to animals. Have your husband take care of that right away!
Later that day, the lady is home telling her husband about her encounter with the cop.
Well, dear, what exactly did he say? He said the reflector is broken.
I can fix that in two minutes. What else?
I’m not sure, Jacob … something about the emergency brake…



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