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Q. How do you get a twinkle in a blonde’s eye?
A. Shine a flashlight in her ear.

Q: Why do Polish dogs have flat noses?
A: From chasing parked cars.

Q: You go to a cockfight. How do you know if a Polak is there?
A: He’s the one with a duck.

Top10 Reasons E-Mail is Like a Penis:
10. Those who have it would be devastated if it was ever cut off.
9. Those who have it think that those who don’t are somehow inferior.
8. Those who don’t have it may agree that it’s neat, but think it’s not worth the fuss that those who have it make about it.
7. Many of those who don’t have it would like to try it, a phenomenon psychologists call “E-mail Envy.”
6. It’s more fun when it’s up, but this makes it hard to get any real work done.
5. In the distant past, its only purpose was to transmit information vital to the survival of the species. Some people still think that’s the only thing it should be used for, but most folks today use it mostly for fun.
4. If you don’t take proper precautions, it can spread viruses.
3. We attach an importance to it that is far greater than its actual size and influence warrant.
2. If you’re not careful what you do with it, it can get you into a lot of trouble.
And the number one reason “Why e-mail is like a penis.”
1. If you play with it too much, you’ll go blind!

Bank Teller
A middle aged man walks into the bank and says to the young teller, “I
want to open a
fucking checking account”. “Please sir”, she replies, “we can’t have
language like that in
here.” “Why the Fuck not?” he asked. “Sir,” Came her retort, “I must
ask you to refrain
from swearing.” “I don’t give a shit what you want,” he answers, “I
just want to open a
fucking checking account.”
With this the teller leaves and returns in a moment with her branch
manager. The manager
asks if he might be able to help the gentleman. “Shit yes”, came the
reply, “I just won 14
million dollars in the lottery and want to open a fucking checking
account.” The branch
manager says, “I see, and this stupid, fucking, bitch is giving you a
hard time?”

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