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A midget with a heavy lisp goes to a horse farm to purchase a horse. The owner of the farm takes him through to look at all of his horses. The owner is really getting pissed off.
Finally, the last horse and the midget decided that he really wanted this horse. So he ask the owner if he could lift him up so he could look at the horses eyes. The owner did as the midget asked, and the midget said ” Oh my, thse got very pretty eyez”.
Then the midget ask if he could lift him up so he could see her teeth, Then the midget said “Oh wow, thse got wonderful teeth. Then the midget ask if he could see her twat. The owner, being very pissed,picked him up, and rammed him in and out of the horse’s twat.
The midget looked up at the owner and said. “Oh my, yes she does have a very fine twat, but I guess I thoud have asked to see her gallop.”

A big 300 pound, seven foot brute of a man walked into a bar
one evening and said to the bartender “Give everyone a drink
except that gay guy over there”

About fifteen minutes later he gives the same order, “Give everyone
a drink except that gay guy over there”

The gay guy asks the bartender for two ice cubes. The bartender
asks why, and the gay guy says “I am going to put one in each
cheek, go over there, and cold-cock that big sonofabitch!”

A boy sitting on Santas lap and Santa puts his finger on the boys nose and says “I bet your name is (spells out ) J i m m y ?”
The little boys eyes light up and Santa puts his finger on the boys nose again and says ” I bet you want a (spelled out ) b i k e ?”
Little Jimmys eyes light up and he asks “How’d you know that ?”
Santa replied “Because I’m Santa I know everything”.
Little Jimmy gets a funny look in his eye and says “I bet you like (spells out ) g i r l s ?”
Santa says “Yes, how’d you know that ?” The boy says ” Beacause your finger smells like P U S S Y !”

“Dear Reyer School, God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your
recent senior citizen’s luncheon. I am 84 years old and live at the county
home for the aged. All my people are gone. It’s nice to know that someone
thinks of me. God bless you for your kindness to an old forgotten lady.
My roommate is 95 and always had her own radio, but would never let me
listen to it. The other day her radio fell and broke into a lot of pieces.
It was awful. She asked if she could listen to mine, so naturally I told
her to go fuck herself.

Sincerely,
Edna Johnston”

Doctor: Nurse, how is that little girl doing who swallowed ten quarters last night?

Nurse: No change yet.



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