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Whenever your kids are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God’s omnipotence did not extend to God’s kids. After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing He said to them was:
“Don’t.” “Don’t what?” Adam replied. “Don’t eat the forbidden fruit.” God said.
“Forbidden fruit? We got forbidden fruit? Hey, Eve…we got Forbidden Fruit!” “No way!” “Yes, WAY!”
“Don’t eat that fruit!” said God. “Why?” “Because I’m your Father and I said so!” said God, wondering why he hadn’t stopped after making the elephants. A few minutes later God saw the kids having an apple break and was angry.
“Didn’t I tell you not to eat that fruit?” the First Parent asked. “Uh huh,” Adam replied. “Then why did you?” “I dunno,” Eve answered. “She started it!” Adam said. “Did not!” “DID so!” “DID NOT!”
Having had it with the two of them, God’s punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own.
Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed. But there is a reassurance in this story. If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give them wisdom and they haven’t taken it, don’t be hard on yourself.
If God had trouble handling children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?

HOW DOGS AND WOMEN ARE ALIKE
Both look stupid in hats. Both can eat 5 pounds of chocolate in one sitting. Both tend to have “hip” problems. Neither understand football. Both are good at pretending that they’re listening to every word you say. Neither believe that silence is golden. Both constantly want back rubs. Neither can balance a checkbook. You can never tell what either of them is thinking. Both put too much value on kissing. ***** HOW WOMEN ARE BETTER THAN DOGS ***** It is socially acceptable to have sexual relations with a woman. Women look good in sweaters.

Q: What is the difference between a single 40-year-old
woman and a single 40-year-old man? A: The 40-year-old woman thinks
often of having children and the man thinks often about dating them.

Q: What’s the difference between Indiana and a blonde?
A: A blonde has larger hills and deeper valleys.

very nation has to write a book about the Elephant:

The French book – The Sex Life of the Elephant or: 1000 ways to cook Elephant.

The English book – Elephants I have shot on Safari.

The Welsh book – The Elephant and its influence on Welsh language and culture or: Oes ysgol tocynnau eleffant llanfairpwll nhadau coeden.

The American book – How to Make Bigger And Better Elephants.

The Japanese book – How to Make Smaller And Cheaper Elephants.

The Greek book – How to Sell Elephants for a Lot of Money.

The Finnish book – What Do Elephants Think about Finnish People.

The German book – A Short Introduction to Elephants, Vol 1-6.

The Icelandic book – Defrosting an Elephant.

The Swiss book – Switzerland: The Country Through Which Hannibal Went With His Elephants.

The Canadian book – Elephants: A Federal or State Issue?

The Swedish book – How to reduce your taxes with an elephant.



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