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Dormitory – Dirty Room

Desperation – A Rope Ends It

The Morse Code – Here Come Dots

Slot Machines – Cash Lost in ’em

Animosity – Is No Amity

Snooze Alarms – Alas! No More Z’s

Alec Guinness – Genuine Class

Semolina – Is No Meal

The Public Art Galleries – Large Picture Halls, I Bet

A Decimal Point – I’m a Dot in Place

The Earthquakes – That Queer Shake

Eleven plus two – Twelve plus one

Contradiction – Accord not in it

This one’s amazing: [From Hamlet by Shakespeare]
To be or not to be: that is the question, whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.

Becomes:
In one of the Bard’s best-thought-of tragedies, our insistent hero, Hamlet, queries on two fronts about how life turns rotten.

And the grand finale:
“That’s one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind.” — Neil A. Armstrong

becomes:
A thin man ran; makes a large stride; left planet, pins flag on moon! On to Mars!

“Information? I need the number of the Caseway Insurance
Company.”

“Would you spell that, please?”

“Certainly. C as in sea. A as in aye. S as in sea. E as in eye.
W as in why. A as in are. Y as in you.”

The operator pauses. “Just a minute, sir. I’ll connect you with
my supervisor… “

Waiter: “How did you find your steak, sir,”?
Young Man: “Quite accidentally, I assure you.
I moved that piece of lettuce and there it was.”

TREBEK: The category is “Political Subversion”. The answer is: This
entity is dedicated to the destruction of religion, morality, and the
American way of life.
PLAYER: What is the KGB?
TREBEK: Be more specific.
PLAYER: What is PBS?
TREBEK: Right!

Bad Bernie was in prison for seven years. The day he got out, his wife and
son were there to pick him up. He came through the gates and got into the
car.
The only thing he said was, “F.F.”
His wife turned to him and answered, “E.F.”
Out on the highway, he said, “F.F.”
She responded simply, “E.F.”
He repeated, “F.F.”
She again replied, “E.F.”
“Mom! Dad!” their son yelled.
“What’s going on?”
Bad Bernie answered,
“Your mother wants to eat first!”



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