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“How did it happen?” the doctor asked the middle-aged farmhand as he
set the man’s broken leg.
“Well, doc, 25 years ago… ”
“Never mind the past! Tell me how you broke your leg this morning.”
“Like I was saying… 25 years ago, when I first started working on the
farm, that night, right after I’d gone to bed, the farmer’s beautiful
daughter came into my room. She asked me if there was anything I
I said, “No, everything is fine.”
“Are you sure?” she asked.
“I’m sure,” I said.
“Isn’t there anything I can do for you?” she wanted to know.
“I reckon not,” I replied.
“Excuse me,” said the doctor, “What the hell does this story have to do
with your broken leg?!?!?”
“Well, this morning,” the farmhand explained, “when it dawned on me
what she meant, I fell off the roof!”

I saw a pen in a store the other day. I picked it up and took a look at it
cause it was prettier than most.
The clerk said, “It’s made in Germany”.
I said, “That’s too bad, I can’t use it then”.
The clerk said, “What’s the matter? You don’t like German pens?”
I said, “No. I just never learned to write German.”

You know it’s hot when…

* You keep spare bottles of freon in your car.

* You buy sun block by the case.

* You start bonding with your air conditioner.

* Your electric bill is higher than your house payments.

* You start putting ice cubes in your water bed.

* You start buying stock in Gatorade.

* You keep your refrigerator open just to feel the cool air.

* You keep humming the song heat wave to your self.

* You cancel your Hotmail account because you didn’t like the name of it.

* You get a life long pass to White Water.

* Your dream house is any house in Alaska.

* Your not even sure how hot it is because your heat thermometer only goes up to 120.

A long-haired youth was hitchhiking through the deep South.
He got a ride from a mean-looking redneck trucker. After
riding about 30 miles in silence, the youth finally said,
“Well, aren’t you going to ask me?”
“Ask you what?”
replied the trucker.
“If I’m a boy or a girl,” answered the youth.
“Don’t matter,” replied the trucker. “Gonna fuck ya anyway.”

A somewhat drunk man feels a bald man’s head and says,
“Say, your head feels just like my wife’s ass.”

The bald man feels his own head and says with a grin,
“You know, you’re right!”

© 2015