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Whats worse than shit on Olivia Newton Johns face?
Cum on Eileen.

An old farmer went out and bought a new pair of boots.
He got home and tried to get his old lady to notice them, but she didn’t. So he went in the bedroom, took off all his clothes, and came out wearing only the new boots.
“Notice anything?”, He said.
“All I can see is a limp dick”. She replied.
“Yes, but look at what its pointing at, My new boots”. He said.
“Huh” she replied, “Then you should have bought a new hat”!

What do you call a vegetarian with diahrrea?

A salad shooter.

Two truck drivers arrive in front of a tunnel. The sign says MAXIMUM
HEIGHT 3 METERS. The first driver measures his truck and says, “Damn… 3
.2 meters!”
The second one looks furtively around and says, “No police, anywhere. We
can go!”

One night, an 87-year-old woman came home from Bingo to
find her husband in bed with another woman. Angry, she
became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony of
their apartment, killing him instantly. When brought before the
court on charges of murder, she was asked if she had anything
to say to defend herself.

“Well, Your Honor,” she replied coolly. “I figured that at 92, if
he could make love to another woman, he could fly!”



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