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How many Bush administration officials does it take to change a light bulb?

The answer is 7.

(1) one to deny that a light bulb needs to be replaced;

(2) one to attack and question the patriotism of anyone who has questions about the light bulb;

(3) one to blame the previous administration for the need of a new light bulb;

(4) one to arrange the invasion of a country rumored to have a secret stockpile of light bulbs;

(5) one to get together with Vice President Cheney and figure out how to pay Halliburton Industries one million dollars for a light bulb;

(6) one to arrange a photo-op session showing Bush changing the light bulb while dressed in a flight suit and wrapped in an American flag;

(7) and finally one to explain to Bush the difference between screwing a light bulb and screwing the country.

One day an Englishman, an American, and a Canadian walked into a pub
together. The proceeded to each buy a pint of Molson Canadian. Just as they
were about to enjoy their beverage three flies landed in each of their
pints. The Englishman pushed his beer away from him in disgust. The
American fished the offending fly out of his beer and continued drinking it
as if nothing had happened.
The Canadian picked the fly out of his drink and started shaking it over the
pint, yelling, “SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT YOU BASTARD!!!”

Why Did Snoop Dogg Carry an Umbrella????

Fo Drizzal

Two men are driving through Philadelphia when they get pulled over by a Highway Patrolman. The cop walks up and taps on the window with his nightstick.
The driver rolls down the window and WHACK, the cop smacks him in the head with the stick. The driver asks, “What the hell was that for?”
The cop answers, “You’re in Philadelphia son.
When we pull you over, you better have your license ready when we get to your car.” The driver says, “I’m sorry, Officer, I’m not from around here.”
The cop runs a check on the guy’s license, and he’s clean. He gives the guy his license back, walks around to the passenger side and taps on the window. The passenger rolls down the window and WHACK, the cop smacks him on the head with the nightstick.
The passenger asks, “What’d you do that for?”
The cop says, “Just making your wish come true.”
The passenger asks, “Making what wish come true?”
The cop says, “I know that two miles down the road you’re gonna say to your buddy, “I wish that asshole would’ve tried that shit with me!

After attending a party for his boss, the life of the party was
nursing a king-size hangover
and asked his wife, “What the hell happened?”
“As usual, you made an ass of yourself in front of your boss,” replied
the wife.
“Piss on him,” answered the husband.
“You did,” said the wife, “and he fired you.”
“Well, fuck him,” said the husband.
“I did, and you go back to work in the morning.”



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