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Little Johnny’s kindergarden class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures, tacked to a bulletin
board, of the 10 most wanted men. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person.
“Yes,” said the policeman. “The detectives want him very badly.”
So Little Johnny asked, “Why the fuck didn’t you keep him when you took his picture?”

There were 3 men who died and before God would let them into heaven, he gave them a chance to come back as anything they wanted.

The first guy said ” I want to come back as myself, but 100 times smarter. So God made him 100 times smarter.

The second guy said “I want to be better than that guy, make me 1000 times smarter. So God made him 1000 times smarter.

The last guy decided he would be the best. So he said “God, make me better than both of them, make me 1,000,000 times smarter.

So God made him a woman !!

Gayle and Karen were comparing notes on the difficulties of running a small business.

“I started a new practice last year,” Gayle said. “I insist that each of my employees take at least a week off every three months.”

“Why in the world would you do that?” Karen asked.

Gayle answered, “It’s the best way I know of to learn which ones I can do without.”

Two English sheep in a field.
One says to the other “I’m not feeling very well”

The other turns around and replies

“Shut-the-f*ck-up, or you’ll get us all killed”

Two old women were sitting on a bench waiting for their bus. The buses
were running late, and a lot of time passed. Finally, one woman turned to
the other and said, “You know, I’ve been sitting here so long, my butt
fell asleep!’.

The other woman turned to her and said “I know! I heard it snoring!”

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