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Two confirmed bachelors sat talking. Their conversation drifted
from politics to cooking. “I got a cookbook once,” said the first,
“but I could never do anything with it.”

“Too much fancy cooking in it, eh?” asked the second.

“You said it. Every one of the recipes began the same way –
‘Take a clean dish and….’”

why did Santa Anna bring only 4000 troops to the Alamo?
he only had 2 cars.

Q: Did you hear about the idiot that locked his keys in his car?
A: Took him an hour using a coat hanger to get his family out.
Q: Why do idiot dogs have flat noses?
A: From chasing parked cars.
Q: What did the idiot mother say when her daughter said she was pregnant?
A: “Are you sure it’s yours?”
…and finally: Q: How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

Trish: My stomach is getting awfully big, doctor.

Doctor: You should diet.

Trish: Really? What color?

What was Moby Dick’s father’s name?
Papa Boner.

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