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Have you seen the current remake of the movie “Cape Fear?”

It’s about a deranged psychotic who is seeking revenge against a lawyer.

The question is, while watching the movie, for whom do you root?

A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street
with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop
pulled up and said, “I’ve got to take you in, pal. You’re obviously
drunk.”

Our wasted friend asked, “Ociffer, are ya absolutely sure I’m
drunk?”

Yeah, buddy, I’m sure,” said the copper. “Let’s go.”

Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, “Thank goodness, I
thought I was a cripple.”

A guy was driving down the road in his Yugo during a thunder storm, when
his windshield wiper broke. He drives until he comes to an auto body shop.
He goes into the shop, walks up to the counter and says, “Excuse me,
but could you give me a windshield wiper for my Yugo?” The clerk leans
against the counter and thinks for a while. Finally he says, “Sure…that
sounds like a fair trade.”

The owner of a golf course in Texas was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, “You graduated from the University of Texas. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?”

There’s an elderly man and woman sitting in the sunroom of a retirement
home. The old man says to the woman, “For five dollars, I’ll have sex
with you on that rocking chair over there. For ten dollars, I’ll have sex
with you on that couch. But for twenty dollars, I’ll take you to my room,
light a few candles and give you a romantic evening of passion you’ll
never forget.”

The woman considers it a moment and then, after fishing through her
purse, produces a twenty dollar bill. The man says, “So, you want the
romantic night in my room, eh?”

The woman replies, “No, I want four times in the rocker.”



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