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What do you call a vegetarian with diahrrea?
A salad shooter.

What goes “click click, Is that it?, click click, Is that it?”

Steveie Wonder doing a rubik’s cube

One day a five year old little girl excitedly approached her mother, and announced that she had learned how you get a baby. The mother was amused and said, “Oh really sweetie, why don’t you tell me all about it?”

The little girl then explained, “Well, the mommy and daddy take off all of their clothes, and the daddy’s wiener stands way up high, and the mommy kneels on the floor and puts the daddy’s wiener in her mouth, and then the daddy’s wiener sort of explodes and makes sticky juice into the mommy’s mouth, and then the mommy swallows the sticky juice, and that’s how you get a baby.”

The mother looked lovingly at her daughter, leaned over to meet her eye to eye and said, “Oh honey, that’s sweet, but that’s not how you get a baby. That’s how you get jewelry.”

I tell ya, he don’t get no respect at all…

Rodney Dangerfield arrives at the Pearly Gates, and St. Peter says to him,
“Tell me what you did in life that makes you worthy of coming in.”

Rodney says, “That’s easy. I made people laugh.”

St. Peter responds, “God gave you your looks, I want to know what YOU did.”

Q: Why don’t blondes in San Francisco wear short black mini skirts?

A: Cause their balls show!

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