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A drunk staggered into a cemetery and fell into a freshly dug grave.
Pretty soon a second drunk staggered by. “Get me out of here”, said the
one in the grave, “I’m cold”. The other one looked over the edge and said,
“No wonder you’re cold, you poor guy. You don’t have any dirt on you”.

A police detective was investigating a homicide. As he questioned the on-scene officer, he learned the body was that of a young woman. The body was found with a bowl over her head and a spoon stuck in her back.
The on-scene officer asked what the detective thought had happened to the woman.
The detective responded, “I think it’s obvious. A cereal killer got her!”

One night a wife found her husband standing over their baby’s
crib. Silently she watched him. As he stood looking down at
the sleeping infant, she saw on his face a mixture of emotions:
disbelief, doubt, delight, amazement, enchantment,

Touched by this unusual display and the deep emotions it
aroused, with eyes glistening she slipped her arm around her

“A penny for your thoughts,” she said.

“It’s amazing!” he replied. “I just can’t see how anybody can
make a crib like that for only $46.50.”

Recently a Ft. Lauderdale advertising agency launched a billboard campaign (including the inside and outside of buses) that included 17 different messages “from God”. This non-denominational campaign, was sponsored by an anonymous client. How cool to drive by one of these billboards!
1. Let’s Meet At My House Sunday Before the Game – God
2. C’mon Over And Bring The Kids – God
3. What Part of “Thou Shalt Not…” Didn’t You understand? – God
4. We Need To Talk – God
5. Keep Using My Name in Vain And I’ll Make Rush Hour Longer – God
6. Loved The Wedding, Invite Me To The Marriage – God
7. That “Love Thy Neighbor” Thing, I Meant It. – God
8. I Love You … I Love You … I Love You … – God
9. Will The Road You’re On Get You To My Place? – God
10. Follow Me. – God
11. Big Bang Theory, You’ve Got To Be Kidding. – God
12. My Way Is The Highway. – God
13. Need Directions? – God
14. You Think It’s Hot Here? – God
15. Tell The Kids I Love Them. – God
16. Need a Marriage Counselor? I’m Available. – God
17. Have You Read My #1 Best Seller? There Will Be A Test. – God

So what? Who’s in a hurry?

© 2015