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My Uncle Joe got fired from his construction job. I asked him what happened.

“You know what a foreman is?” he asked. “The one who stands around and watches the other men work.”

“What’s that got to do with it?” I asked.

“Well, he just got jealous of me,” Uncle Joe explained. “Everyone thought I was the foreman.”

Q: Why do blondes have TGIF on their shoes?
A: Toes Go In First.

Two prisoners were having a chat.
The first one said. “I’ve go two tickets for the warden’s ball, Do you
want to buy one?”
“No thanks, mate,” said the second guy. “I can’t dance.”
“It’s not a dance, mate,” said the first prisoner. “It’s a raffle!”

Q: How many missionaries does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 101. One to change it and 100 to convince everyone else to change light bulbs too.

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For an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress,
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operating system of the wishee.

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4. It is void where prohibited by law, and
5. It is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher.

This wish is warranted to perform as expected with the usual application
of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a
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Blue has never applied for recognition as an official colour of this
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