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Top 10 Reasons God Created Eve
10. God worried that Adam would frequently become lost in the garden because he would not ask for directions.
9. God knew that Adam would one day require someone to locate and hand him the TV remote.
8. God knew that Adam would never go out and get himself a new fig leaf when his seat wore out and would, therefore, need Eve to go get one for him.
7. God knew that Adam would never be able to make a doctor’s, dentist, or haircut appointment for himself.
6. God knew that Adam would never be able to remember which night to put the garbage on the curb.
5. God knew that if the world was to be populated, men would never be able to handle the pain and discomfort of childbearing.
4. As “Keeper of the Garden,” Adam would never remember where he left his tools.
3. Apparently, Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God caught him hiding in the garden.
2. As the Bible says, “It is not good for man to be alone!” And finally, the number ONE reason that God created Eve…
1. When God finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back, scratched His head, and said, “I can do better than THAT!”

One day a man drove by a farm and saw a three- legged pig. The man went up to the farmer and said, “Excuse me sir, but why does that pig only have 3 legs?”

“Well,” said the farmer, “that there pig is very special. One time my wife was cooking something she stepped out of the kitchen and it caught on fire. No one in the house knew about it but the pig and he saved me, my wife, and my 2 kids.”

“That’s amazing sir but why does that pig onlly have three legs?” said the man.

“Then there was that time the pig saw a big storm coming and we didn’t. The pig ran into the house and dragged us out to the storm cellar. If it weren’t for that pig we would all be dead.”

“But still, that doesn’t explain why the pig only has 3 legs.”

“And I remember the time my youngest son was stuck up in a tree but I was too far away to hear him scream. The pig came running towards me and led me to where he was.”

“Well, that is miracle but how come that pig only has 3 legs?” the man said quite annoyed at this point.

“Well,” said the farmer, “with a pig that special…
you have to eat ‘em real slow.”

Q: How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: What kind of answer did you have in mind?

There was this old guy wandering around in a supermarket calling out at intervals -
“Crisco? Crisco? CRIS–CO!!!!”
Finally a store clerk approached.
“Sir, the Crisco is on aisle five.”
“Oh,” replied the old guy, “I’m not looking for Crisco, I’m calling my wife.”
“Your wife is named “Crisco?”
“Nah,” he answered, “I only call her that when we come to the supermarket.”
“Oh? What do you call her when you are not in the supermarket?”
“Lard Ass!”

A pious man who had reached the age of 105 suddenly
stopped going to synagogue. Alarmed by the old fellow’s
absence after so many years of faithful attendance the Rabbi
went to see him.

He found him in excellent health, so the Rabbi asked, “How
come after all these years we don’t see you at services

The old man looked around and lowered his voice. “I’ll tell you,
Rabbi,” he whispered. “When I got to be 90, I expected God to
take me any day. But then I got to be 95, then 100, then 105.
So I figured that God is very busy and must’ve forgotten about
me, and I don’t want to remind Him!”

© 2015