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The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked, “You know, I’ve lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?”


“Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere.”

Less Common Latin Phrases
Quo signo nata es?
What’s your sign?
Romani quidem artem amatoriam invenerunt.
You know, the Romans invented the art of love.
O! Plus! Perge! Aio! Hui! Hem!
Oh! More! Go on! Yes! Ooh! Ummm!
Spero nos familiares mansuros.
I hope we’ll still be friends.
Mellita, domi adsum.
Honey, I’m home.
Tam exanimis quam tunica nehru fio.
I am as dead as the nehru jacket.
Ventis secundis, tene cursum.
Go with the flow.
Totum dependeat.
Let it all hang out.
Te precor dulcissime supplex!
Pretty please with a cherry on top!
Magister Mundi sum!
I am the Master of the Universe!
Fac me cocleario vomere!
Gag me with a spoon!
Te audire no possum. Musa sapientum fixa est in aure.
I can’t hear you. I have a banana in my ear.
Estne volumen in toga, an solum tibi libet me videre?
Is that a scroll in your toga, or are you just happy to see me?
Prehende uxorem meam, sis!
Take my wife, please!
Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari?
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
Nihil est-in vita priore ego imperator Romanus fui.
That’s nothing-in a previous life I was a Roman Emperor.
Aio, quantitas magna frumentorum est.
Yes, that is a very large amount of corn.
Recedite, plebes! Gero rem imperialem!
Stand aside plebians! I am on imperial business.
Oblitus sum perpolire clepsydras!
I forgot to polish the clocks!
Vescere bracis meis.
Eat my shorts.
Sic faciunt omnes.
Everyone is doing it.
Vacca foeda
Stupid cow
Fac ut vivas.
Get a life.
Raptus regaliter
Royally screwed
Anulos qui animum ostendunt omnes gestemus!
Let’s all wear mood rings!
Insula Gilliganis
Gilligan’s Island

Two homosexuals were talking when one of them happened to mention that he
had gotten circumcised last week. “Can I see it?” asked the second gay guy.

So the first guy promptly dropped his pants to show off his operation.

“Oooh,” squealed his friend, “You look ten years younger!”

A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same
sleeping carriage of a train. After the initial embarrassment, they both
manage to get to sleep; the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower.
In the middle of the night the woman leans over and says, “I’m sorry to
bother you but I’m awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly
pass me another blanket.”

The man leans out and, with a glint in his eye, says, “I’ve got a better
idea… let’s pretend we’re married.”

“Why not?” giggles the woman.

“Good,” he replies. “Get your own blanket.”

Q: Why can’t Jesus eat M & M’s?
A: Because they fall through the holes in his hands.

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