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I recently had surgery on my hand, and asked the doctor if,
after surgery, I would be able to play the banjo.

He said, “I’m doing surgery on your hand, not giving you a lobotomy.”

Now I understand what marketing is:

You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl. You approach her and
tell her: “I am very good in bed”. That is Direct Marketing.

You are at a party with a group of friends and you see a very pretty
girl. One of your friends approaches her and tells her: “That guy over
there is very good in bed”. That is Advertising.

You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl. You ask for her phone
number. The following day you call her and tell her: “I am very good in
bed”. That is Telemarketing .

You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl. You recognize her, you
approach her and refresh her memory by telling her: “Do you remember how
good I am in bed?” That is Customer Relationship Management.

You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl. You get up, fix your
tie, pour her a drink, open the door for her, pick up her bag when it
falls and you tell her: “I am very good in bed”. That is Public Relations.

You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl. She approaches you and
tells you: “I heard you are very good in bed”. That is BRANDING!!

One day a guy was driving with his 4-year-old daughter
and beeped his car horn by mistake.
She turned and looked at him for an explanation.
He said, “I did that by accident.”
She replied, “I know that, daddy.”
He replied, “How’d you know?”
The girl said, “Because you didn’t say ‘ASSHOLE!’ afterwards!”

Why does Peter Pan Fly?
You’d fly too if you got hit in the peter with a pan.

What do you call two lesbians in a canoe?
Fur traders.



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