Joke's Database
     
Have fun searching 100254 jokes and pictures!


Have you ever wondered why you wonder why?
I used to wonder why, but now I don’t wonder why I wonder why.
I wonder why I don’t wonder why anymore?

You Might Be Addicted to AOL if…
…..Tech Support calls “You” for help. …..Someone at work tells you a joke and you say LOL …..You have called out someone’s screen name while making love to your significant other. …..You keep begging your friends to get an account so “we can hang out” …..you have to get a second phone line just so you can call Domino’s …..you’ve ever typed “drinking on AOL is better than drinking alone” …..you have a vanity car tag with your screen name on it …..you no longer type with proper punctuation, capitalization, or complete sentences …..you begin to say heh heh heh instead of laughing …..when someone says “What did you say?” you reply “Scroll up!” …..you sneak away to the computer in the middle of the night when your spouse is asleep. …..you know more about your AOL friends daily routines than you do your own family’s. …..you lie to others about your time on-line and when they complain that your phone was busy you claim it was off the hook …..you have an identity crisis if someone else is using an s/n close to your own …..you would rather tell people your bloodshot eyes are from partying too much instead of the truth (all night on-line) …..you’re broke, your modem burns out and you go out onto the streets to sell your body to get a new one …..you marry your cyberboyfriend and you both sit at your own computers and chat to each other every night from across the room …..you type messages to people while you are on the phone with them at the same time …..you won’t work at a job that doesn’t have a modem involved ….you sign on and immediately get 10 messages from people who have you on their buddy lists ….you look at an annoying person off-line and wish you had your ignore button handy ….you have withdrawls if you are away from the computer for more than a few hours ….you use AOL lingo in everyday life (if you still have one…hehehe) ….your buddy list has over 100 people on it ….you wake up in the morning and the first thing you do is get on-line before you have your first cup of coffee ….you wait 6 hours online for a certain “special” person to sign on ….you don’t know where the time has gone ….you end sentences with three (or more) periods while writing letters in pen/pencil. ….your relationship online has gone farther than any real one you have had ….you get up at 2am to go the bathroom but go turn on your computer instead ….you don’t even notice anymore when someone has a typo ….when you enter a room and 23 people greet you with {{{Hugs or ***Kisses*** ….you stop typing whole words and use things like ppl, dunno and lemme ….your voicemail/answering machine message is “BRB, leave your s/n and I will TTYL” ….you type faster than you think ….being called a newbie is a *MAJOR* insult …you are on the phone for a minute and need to do something else you say “BRB” or “BBL” ….you spend at least 30 minutes making sure you say goodbye to everyone in a room …you’ve gone into an unstaffed tech support room and given tech support to other AOLers ….you have to be pryed from your computer with the Jaws-of-Life …you meet people from AOL in public and have no idea what their real name is, so you call them by their screen name …your last sexual experience was really just a “textual” experience

Confucious say…
…woman sitting in jelly have her ass in jam.
…man with penis in peanut butter, fucking nuts.
…man who puts penis in vaccuum cleaner, get sucked off.
…boy who lay girl on hill, not on level.
…man who lose key to girlfriend apartment, get no new-key!
…he who finger girl during period, get caught red-handed.
…he who smoke pot, choke on handle.
…woman who wear g-string, high on crack!
…he who stand on toilet, high on pot!
…boy who go to bed with sex problem on mind, wake up with solution on-hand!
…girl who bathe in vinegar, walk around with sour-puss!
…man with hand in bush, not nessarily trimming shrubs!
…man who masturbate into cash register, soon come into money!
…he who masturbate, screw only himself!
…he who walks thru airplane door sideways is going to Bangkok!
…dumb man climb tree to get cherry, wise man spread limbs!

Another classic example of James Bond’s back up people, you should enjoy this!

True story, as heard on “Late Late Show with Tom Snyder” 3/3/97:

Scientists at NASA have developed a gun, whose purpose it is to
launch dead chickens. It is used to shoot a dead chicken at the
windshields of airline jets, military jets, and the space shuttle,
at that vehicle’s maximum travelling velocity. As such, it will simulate
the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl, and therefore
determine if the windshields are strong enough.

British engineers, upon hearing of the gun, were eager to test the
gun out on the windshield of their new high speed trains. However,
upon firing the gun, the engineers watched in shock as the chicken
shattered the windshield, smashed through the control console, snapped the
engineer’s backrest in two, and embedded itself into the back wall
of the cabin.

Horrified, the engineers sent NASA the results of the experiment,
along with the designs of the windshield, and asked the NASA
scientists for any suggestions.

The NASA scientists sent back a one-sentence response:
“Thaw the chicken.”

How can u spot a tough Lesbian Bar?

Even the pool tables don’t have balls.



© 2015 ijokedb.com