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Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He’s
got two large bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and says,
“What’s in the bags?”
“Sand,” answered Juan.
The guard says, “We’ll just see about that get off the bike.”
The guard takes the bags and rips them apart; he empties them out and
finds nothing in them but sand. He detains Juan overnight and has the
sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in
the bags.
The guard releases Juan, puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto
the man’s shoulders, and lets him cross the border.
A week later, the same thing happens. The guard asks, “What have you
“Sand,” says Juan.
The guard does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags
contain nothing but sand. He gives the sand back to Juan, and Juan
crosses the border on his bicycle.
This sequence of events if repeated every day for three years.
Finally, Juan doesn’t show up one day and the guard meets him in a
Cantina in Mexico.
“Hey, Buddy,” says the guard, “I know you are smuggling something.
It’s driving me crazy. It’s all I think about…..
I can’t sleep. Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?”
Juan sips his beer and says, “Bicycles.”

Laws of Household Physics

Ever notice that the laws of household physics are every bit as real as every other law in the universe? Here are a few examples:

1. A child’s eagerness to assist in any project varies in inverse proportion to the ability to actually do the work involved.

2. Leftovers always expand to fill all available containers plus one.

3. A newly washed window gathers dirt at double the speed of an unwashed window.

4. The availability of a ballpoint pen is inversely proportional to how badly it is needed.

5. The same clutter that will fill a one-car garage will fill a two-car garage.

6. Three children plus two cookies equals a fight.

7. The potential for disaster is in direct proportion to the number of TV remote controls divided by the number of viewers.

8. The number of doors left open varies inversely with the outdoor temperature.

9. The capacity of any hot water heater is equal to one and one-half sibling showers.

10. What goes up must come down, except for bubble gum, kites and slightly used Rice Krispies.

11. Place two children in a room full of toys and they will both want to play with the same toy.

In a Texas bar,The bartender Fred was fed up with penis boasting from the
regulars.So to put an end to all the boasting Fred says to them “whip ‘em
out”.Fred pulls a yard stick from under the bar,at the same time a gay guy
walks into the bar.Fred ask the man if there is something that he can get for
him.The gay guy replies “i was going to get a beer,but i’ll check your buffett

Q: Who speaks on behalf of the Ghosts Union?
A: Their Spooksperson!

A man lay spread out over three seats in the second row of a movie theater.
As he lay there breathing heavily, an usher came over and said, “That’s very rude of you, sir, taking up three seats. Didn’t you learn any manners! Where did you come from?”
The man looked up helplessly and said, “The balcony!”

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