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Dale Earnhart, Mark Martin and Gordon are all on a fishing trip. After a few hours and no bites, Dale jumps into the shallow water unzips and waves his jiggly worm around. Pow! A huge bass hits it and he walks to the bank, pokes it in the eye to make it release from his manhood, and holds up a 55 pound Bass.

Mark takes a look and jumps in the water and waves his peter around in the water. Bam, another Bass! He walks to the shore and pokes the fish in the eye and picks up a 70 pound Bass.

A little while passes and Dale looks at Jeff and says, “Aren’t you going to give it a try?”

Jeff replies, “No, I don’t want to get poked in the eye!”

Three surgeons were arguing about who was the best surgeon.

The first said, “I reattached a severed arm on a man who went on to become one of the best pitchers in the Major League.”

The second said, “I reattached a severed leg on a man who went on to become one of the best place kickers in the NFL.”

The third surgeon could not be out done. He said, “I once stitched a mustache to an asshole and he went on to become a seven time Winston Cup Champion!”

Three surgeons were arguing about who was the best surgeon.

The first said, “I reattached a severed arm on a man who went on to become one of the best pitchers in the Major League.”

The second said, “I reattached a severed leg on a man who went on to become one of the best place kickers in the NFL.”

The third surgeon could not be out done. He said, “I once stitched a mustache to an asshole and he went on to become a seven time Winston Cup Champion!”

13) “None for me, thanks. That Skoal will do a number on your teeth.”

12) “Tampax! Get ‘cha Tampax here!”

11) “Hey, shut up! I can’t hear the race.”

10) “Sex with your sister!? Man, that’s sick.”

9) “My GOD, this is a splendid Merlot!”

8) “Hey, you with the large breasts — out of the way! We’re trying to watch a race here!”

7) “Chesterton, be a good lad and retrieve the Wall Street Journal from my attach

Three surgeons were arguing about who was the best surgeon.

The first said, “I reattached a severed arm on a man who went on to become one of the best pitchers in the Major League.”

The second said, “I reattached a severed leg on a man who went on to become one of the best place kickers in the NFL.”

The third surgeon could not be out done. He said, “I once stitched a mustache to an asshole and he went on to become a seven time Winston Cup Champion!”



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