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A famous fast bowler was introduced to an areb sheik who boasted that he had eighty three wives .
The bowler retorted ” You only need two more , and you’re entitled to a new ball.”

A foursome is waiting at the men’s tee when another foursome of ladies
are hitting from the ladies tee.

The ladies are taking their time and when finally the last one is ready
to hit the ball she hacks it about 10 feet, goes over to it, hacks it
another ten feet and looks up at the men waiting and says apologetically
“I guess all those fucking lessons I took this winter didn’t help.”

One of the men immediately replies “No, you see that’s your problem. You
should have been taking golf lessons instead.”

A guy stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity; looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed. Driving his partner nuts. Finally his exasperated partner says, “What’s taking so long? Hit the blasted ball!”
The guy answers, “My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot.”
“Forget it, man! You don’t stand a chance of hitting her from here!”

The scene was Mount Olympus, where Bacchus, the Greek god of wine, had thrown a party for a pair of visiting Roman deities — Ceres, the goddess of agriculture, and Janus, the two-faced god of doors and beginnings.

Everyone over did it, more or less. Ceres at one point was staggering and turning in circles; Janus, equally submerged, was trying to dance with her. Bacchus feared that the pair might fall over, so he went to steady them. This marked the first time that a whirled Ceres was held with a double-header.

A retiree was given a set of golf clubs by his co-workers. Thinking he’d try the game, he asked the local pro for lessons, explaining that he knew nothing whatever of the game. The pro showed him the stance and swing, then said, “Just hit the ball toward the flag on the first green.”

The novice teed up and smacked the ball straight down the fairway and onto the green, where it stopped inches from the hole. “Now what?” the fellow asked the speechless pro.

“Uh… you’re supposed to hit the ball into the cup,” the pro finally said, after he was able to speak again.

“Oh great! Now you tell me,” said the beginner in a disgusted tone.



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