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A husband and wife were out playing golf. They tee off and one drive goes
to the right and one drive goes to the left.
The wife finds her ball in a patch of buttercups. She grabs a club and
takes a mighty swing at the ball. She hits a beautiful second shot, but
in the process she hacks the hell out of the buttercups.
Suddenly a woman appears out of nowhere. She blocks her path to her golf
bag and looks at her and says, “I’m Mother Nature, and I don’t like the
way you treated my buttercups. From now on, you won’t be able to stand
the taste of butter. Each time you eat butter you will become physically
ill to the point of total nausea.”
The mystery woman then disappears as quickly as she appeared.
Shaken, the wife calls out to her husband “Hey, where’s your ball?”
“It’s over here in the pussy willows.”
The wife screams back, “DON’T HIT THE BALL!!!! DON’T HIT THE BALL!!!!”

Although it isn’t generally known, there was once an industrial dispute during a test match at the Oval.
As a result of it, the batsmen became the first ever union to come out on a non-strike.

Q: How is golf like taxes?
A: Well, you drive hard to get to the green, and then you wind up in the hole.

The worst golf player in history must have been Adolf Hitler.
He never got out of the bunker.

The demon bowler sent his thunderbolts whizzing past batsman and wicket-keeper for boundary byes from every ball of his opening over. The captain said, ‘I think I’ll rest you for a while.’
‘You can’t do that,’ said the bowler. ‘I’ve just bowled a maiden over.
‘Women like that are a luxury I can’t afford at the moment,’ acidly replied the captain.



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