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A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by a couple of strokes. The golfer says to himself, “I’d give anything to sink this next putt.”

A stranger walks up to him and whispers, “Would you give up a fourth of your sex life?”

The golfer thinks the man is crazy and that his answer will be meaningless but also that perhaps this is a good omen and will put him in the right frame of mind to make the difficult putt and says, “OK.” And sinks the putt.

Two holes later he mumbles to himself, “Boy, if I could only get an eagle on this hole.”

The same stranger moves to his side and says, “Would it be worth another fourth of your sex life?”

The golfer shrugs and says, “Sure.” And he makes an eagle.

Down to the final hole. The golfer needs yet another eagle to win. Though he says nothing, the stranger moves to his side and says, “Would you be willing to give up the rest of your sex life to win this match?”

The golfer says, “Certainly.” And makes the eagle.

As the golfer walks to the club house, the stranger walks alongside and says,”You know, I’ve really not been fair with you because you don’t know who I am. I’m the devil and from now on you will have no sex life.”

“Nice to meet you,” says the golfer. “My name’s Father O’Malley.”

The pro quarterback was petitioning the court to have his recent marriage annulled.
“On what grounds?” questioned the Judge, “This court does not take annulments lightly.”
“Non-virginity,” replied the quarterback, “When I married her, I thought I was getting a tight end, but instead, I found that I had married a wide receiver.”

In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft; today, in civilized society, it is called golf.

Q: Why is a football stadium cool?
A: Because it’s full of fans!

A little Bear is at his custody hearing. The judge asks the little bear whom he wants to live with. Well, I don’t want to live with Mamma bear, she beats me. And I do not want to live with Papa Bear, he beats me too. The Judge asks little bear if he has any relatives whom he likes. Little Bear says no. . . I want to live with the Chicago Bears, the don’t beat anybody.



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