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There was a Brown’s fan, a Steelers fan, and a Bug Eater. They attempted to rob a bank but got caught. They went to court and were sentenced to the electric chair. The guys operating it told them that if they survived they were free to go.

The Steelers fan went first. They asked him if he had any last words to say. He told them no. He pressed the button and nothing happened so he was free to go.

The bug eater went next. They asked him if he had any last words to say. He said no and pressed the button. Nothing happened and he was free to go.

The Browns fan went next. They asked him if he had any last words.

“I think if you plug the chair in, it’ll work better.”

A distraught woman rushed into a Police Station claiming she had been raped.
The Desk Sergeant calmed her down and asked her to provide details. She
told him that it was a man of average height dressed in white and that he
was wearing protective pads on his legs and forearms, additionally he
had on a helmet and gloves.
“That sounds as if the man was a cricketer” observed the policeman.
“Oh yes he was” replied the woman, “and what’s more he was an Englishman”.
“I suppose you guessed that because of his accent ” said the Sergeant.
“No” the woman said, “it was because he didn’t stay in very long.”

A man was playing a game of golf, and on hole 16, he hit the ball right
into a field of buttercups. As honest a golfer as he normally was, he
picked up the ball and laid it next to the flowerbed to avoid destroying
the beautiful buttercups. A fairy comes down and says “thank you for not
disturbing my buttercups. For that I shall make sure that you always have
a full supply of butter”.

“Thank you,” the golfer replied, “but where were you last week when I hit
the ball into the pussywillows?”

The National Science Foundation announced the following study results on corporate America recreation preferences:

1. Sport of choice for maintenance level employees: BOWLING

2. Sport of choice for front line workers: FOOTBALL

3. Sport of choice for supervisors: BASEBALL

4. Sport of choice for middle management: TENNIS

5. Sport of choice for corporate officers: GOLF

CONCLUSION: The higher you are in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls.

Q: Why doesn’t Mexico have an Olympic team?
A: Because everybody who can run, jump, and swim is already in the U.S.

© 2015