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Manager: “I’m sorry. Sir, we have no time open on the course today.”

Golfer: “Wait a minute, what if Arnold Palmer and Jack Nicklaus showed up? I’m sure you’d find a starting time for them.”

Manager: “Of course we would, sir.”

Golfer: “Well, I happen to know they’re not coming, so we’ll take their time.”

Q: Why did the footballer hold his boot to his ear?
A: Because he liked sole music

Q: Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?

A: Because it heard the referee was blowing fouls.

Two hunters were dragging their dead deer back to their car. Another hunter approached pulling his along too.

“Hey, I don’t want to tell you how to do something … but I can tell you that it’s much easier if you drag the deer in the other direction. Then the antlers won’t dig into the ground.”

After the third hunter left, the two decided to try it.

A little while later one hunter said to the other, “You know, that guy was right. This is a lot easier!”

“Yeah, but we’re getting farther from the truck,” the other added.

Did you hear about the new downhill racing skis the ski resorts are selling this year?
They are called Lewin-skis. They are for people who like to go down.

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