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A man decided to buy a new telescope for his rifle as hunting season was about to start. He goes to a rifle shop and asks the clerk to show him a scope.

The clerk takes out a scope and says to the man, “This scope is so good, you can see my house all the way up on that hill.” The man takes a look through the scope and starts laughing.

“What’s so funny?” asks the clerk.

“I see a naked man and a naked woman running around in the house,” the man replies.

The clerk grabs the scope from the man and looks at his house. Then he hands two bullets to the man and says, “Here are two bullets, I’ll give you this scope for nothing if you take these two bullets, shoot my wife’s head off and shoot the guy’s dick off.”

The man takes another look through the scope, and says, “You know what? I think I can do that with one shot!”

Q: How many body builders does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Nine. One to screw in the bulb while the other 8 hold up the mirrors.

Q: What does Paul Inces mum make for Christmas?
A: Ince pies!

Although it isn’t generally known, there was once an industrial dispute during a test match at the Oval.
As a result of it, the batsmen became the first ever union to come out on a non-strike.

Two football players were taking an important final exam. If they failed, they would be on academic probation and not allowed to play in the Sugar Bowl the following week. The exam was fill-in-the-blank. The last question read, “Old MacDonald had a _________.”

Bubba was stumped. He had no idea of the answer. He knew he needed to get this one right to be sure he passed. Making sure the professor wasn’t watching, he tapped Tiny on the shoulder. “Pssst. Tiny. What’s the answer to the last question?” Tiny laughed. He looked around to make sure the professor hadn’t noticed then he turned to Bubba. “Bubba, you’re so stupid. Everyone knows Old MacDonald had a farm.”

“Oh yeah,” said Bubba. “I remember now.” He picked up his No. 2 pencil and started to write the answer in the blank. He stopped. Reaching to tap Tiny’s shoulder again, he whispered, “Tiny, how do you spell farm?”

“You are really dumb, Bubba. That’s so easy. Farm is spelled – E-I-E-I-O.”.



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