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Rules of Play
Each player shall provide his own equipment – normally one club and two balls.

Play on a course must be approved by the owner of the hole.

Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out of the hole.

For the most effective play, the club owner should have a firm shaft.

Course owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins.

Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid damage to the hole.

The object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until the course owner is satisfied that the play is complete. Failure to do so may result in denied permission to play the course again.

It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival at the course.

The experienced players will normally take time to admire the entire course, with special attention to well formed bunkers.

Players are encouraged not to mention other courses they have played, or are currently playing, to the owner of the course being played. Upset owners have been known to damage a player’s equipment for this reason.

Players are encouraged to bring proper rain gear for their own protection.

Players should assure themselves that their match has been properly scheduled, particularly when a new course is being played for the first time. Previous players have been known to become irate if they discover someone else playing on what they considered to be a private course.

Players should not assume a course is in shape for play at all times. Some players may be embarrassed if they find the course to be temporarily under repair.

Players are advised to be extremely tactful in this situation. More advanced players will find alternate means of play at this time.

Players are advised to obtain the course owner’s permission before attempting to play the back nine.

Slow play is encouraged. However, players should be prepared to proceed at a quicker pace, at least temporarily, at the course owner’s request.

It is considered outstanding performance, time permitting, to play the same course several times in one month.

A guy took his girlfriend to her first football game. Afterward he asked her how she liked the game.
“I liked it, but I couldn’t understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents,” she said.
“What do you mean?” he asked.
“Well, everyone kept yelling, ‘Get the quarter back!’”

1. Take the batteries out of all of the remote controls.
2. As his pals arrive to watch the big game, disappear into your room and make yourself as frumpy-looking as possible, then return to the living room and complain loudly about all the housework you do, going into great detail, taking turns sitting next to each one of them.
3. Show a sudden interest in every aspect of the game, especially have him define the offside law for you, many times.
4. Plug in a boom box in the room and do your Dancerobics routine.
5. Decide it’s time to dust the house starting with a particularly good dusting of the television set right at kick-off.
6. Hold a womens’ rights rally.
7. Invite your mother over for the game.
8. Hide near the cable connection, unscrew it from the wall everytime you hear a tense moment.
9. Get a Martha Stewart Living magazine, sit in the room, and read the articles outloud.
10. Hide the beer and pretzels.
11. Come into the room every two minutes to complain about the television volume being too loud.
12. Invite all your friends over for a Pampered Chef party.
13. Root for the team your man has bet against.
14. Don some sweats and a ball cap, sit in the room with your man and his pals to watch the game… suck down the beer, scratch, burp, scream loudly everytime anything at all happens in the game.
15. It’s your night out with the girls… leave the kids home with him!

Q: What do they call a drug ring in Dallas?
A: A huddle.

Q: There are 4 Dallas Cowboys in a car, who’s driving?
A: The police.

Q: Why can’t Michael Irvin be in the Cowboy huddle anymore?
A: It’s a parole violation for him to associate with known felons.

The team doctor said because of Michael Irvin’s fractured wrist, it’ll be 6 – 8 weeks before he can video tape a team mate having sex.

The Chicago Bears are trying to trade for Michael Irvin. They got rid of the “Refrigerator” and now they want a “Coke Machine”.

It was reported today that the artificial turf in Texas Stadium is being replaced because the Cowboys play much better on “grass”.

The Dallas Cowboys have adopted a new “Honor System”. “Yes, your Honor”, “No, your Honor”.

The Cowboys had a 12 and 5 season this year. 12 arrests and 5 convictions.

In a move to strengthen their defense, the Dallas Cowboys today hired a new defensive coordinator, Johnny Cochran.

Q: How do the Cowboys spend the first week of training camp?
A: Studying the Miranda Rights

A jumbo-sized freshman went to try out for the football team. The coach asked him if he could tackle and he said, “Hell yah, get a load of this!”

And with that knocked over a telephone pole as if it were made of balsa wood.

The coach was dumbfounded and asked if the boy could run, to which the boy replied, “Hell yah!” and he sprinted from endzone to endzone like lightning.

The coach stood there with his mouth agape to see such a huge boy run so fast. He finally composed himself and said, “But can you pass a football?”

The freshman stopped to think for a few seconds, then said, “Hell yah, if I can swallow it, I can surely pass it!”

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