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Q: How come Mexico never has a good Olympic team?

A: Because all of the mexicans that can run, jump, or swim are in the U.S.

Q: What do the Pope and the Giants have in common?
A: Both cram 30,000 fans in a stadium and end up saying JESUS CHRIST!!

Q: Why don’t girls like to date basketball players?
A: You never know if they’re going to dribble or shoot.

Q: What do you get when you cross Viagra and Rogaine?

A: Don King.

A golfer, playing a round by himself, is about to tee off, when a salesman runs up to him and yells, “Wait! Before you tee off, I have something really amazing to show you!”

The golfer, annoyed, says, “What is it?”
“It’s a special golf ball,” says the salesman. “You can never lose it!”

“Whattaya mean,” scoffs the golfer, “you can never lose it? What if you hit it into the water?”
“No problem,” says the salesman. “It floats, and it detects where the shore is, and spins towards it.”

“Well, what if you hit it into the woods?”
“Easy,” says the salesman. “It emits a beeping sound, and you can find it with your eyes closed.”

“Okay,” says the golfer, impressed. “But what if your round goes late and it gets dark?”
“No problem, sir, this golf ball glows in the dark! I’m telling you, you can never lose this golf ball!”

The golfer buys it at once. “Just one question,” he says to the salesman. “Where did you get it?”
“I found it.”

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