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Q: Which England player keeps up the fuel supply?

A: Paul gas coin!

A couple decide to go golfing to the best golf course in their state. While playing, the husband tells his wife to be very careful, as there were many houses along the golf course. But the stupid wife swings her club and it breaks one of the glasses of the biggest house on the course.

So the husband and wife decided to go and apologize to the owner of the house. When they reached the house they found a glass bottle lying on the floor broken into hundreds of pieces. They found an old man sitting in his rocking chair and greeted the couple inside.

He said, “I am a genie and I would like to thank you for letting me free from this bottle, and I would like to grant you 2 wishes and the 3rd wish is mine.”

So the husband says “I want a private aircraft for myself.” The wife said she would like a house in every single country.

The genie says, “for the past 200 years he has never had sex and would like to have sex with the lady.”

The husband agrees and the genie takes the lady up and begins having sex.

Then he asks the lady “How old is your husband?”

she replies “47″

and the genie says “And he still believes in genies?”

Smith was watching a rugby test against the New Zealand All Blacks at the Sydney Football Stadium. In the packed stadium, there was only one empty seat – next to Smith.
“Who does that seat belong to?” asked his neighbour.
“It’s for my wife.”
“But why isn’t she here?”
“She died.”
“So why didn’t you give the ticket to one of your friends?”
“They’ve all gone to the funeral.”

10. Ball movement is key

9. You can set it up or go for the fastbreak

8. If you need a break, you can call a 20 second timeout

7. There is a coach telling you when to “take it to the hole”

6. Being double-teamed is common

5. You can pass it off, so your buddy can score

4. If scouts like your performance, you turn pro

3. You know you are done when the horn sounds

2. You always try to score within 24 seconds

1. There’s always someone with a towel to clean up any wet spots

Q: What does a footballer and a magician have in common?
A: Both do hat tricks!

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