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The cricket fan had dragged his wife and child along to the ground to watch the local side .
He watched with interest, but they were plainly bored and shifted uncomfortably in their seats.
The child brightened and turned to the mother.
‘They just shouted ‘Over’, she said.
‘I know.’ replied her mother, wearily, ‘but don’t take any notice. It goes on and on and on.’

Did you hear about the new downhill racing skis the ski resorts are selling this year?
They are called Lewin-skis. They are for people who like to go down.

Q: Which England player keeps up the fuel supply?
A: Paul gas coin!

One night after the big fight Mike Tyson was a bit depressed so he decided to get a prostitute to cheer him up. After the act, they were laying in bed having a smoke. The prostitute said, “Well Mike, how’s it all going?”

“How’s it all going?” he asked. “My life’s a disaster. I was born to an under-privileged family, had a hard up-bringing, was thrown in jail for rape, now I’m on parole and I’ve hit a cop, my wife left me for beating her up, I have to pay maintenance for my kids, I’ve lost two world title fights, I’ve disgraced myself and my sport, most people want me banned me for life and they won’t pay me my money. Nothing could make my life any worse.”

“Oh, that’s so sad,” the prostitute said. “I’ll say one thing to cheer you up. You’re a much better lover than Magic Johnson!”

Q: Why can’t Michael Irvin get into a huddle on the field anymore?
A: It is a parole violation for him to associate with known felons.

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