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Q: Why are football players never asked for dinner?
A: Because they’re always dribbling!

Q: What’s better than winning a gold medal at the Para-Olympics?
A: Having arms and legs.

The night before their wedding, Alf and Bette were sharing confidences.
Alf said, “You must know something before we get married. I am a fanatic golfer. I eat, sleep and drink golf. Golf is my whole life. After we are married, I’ll try for some balance but I doubt whether I’ll succeed. Just understand – you’re marrying a golf addict.”
“I can live with that,” said Bette, “now I’ll tell you my secret – I’m a hooker.”
“A hooker?” Alf repeated. “I can live with that. Next time, keep your head down and your left arm straight, then swing through the ball… .”

Q: How is golf like taxes?

A: Well, you drive hard to get to the green, and then you wind up in the hole.

* When you go fishing and you catch something, that’s good. If you’re making love and you catch something, that’s bad.

* Fish don’t compare you to other fishermen neither and don’t want to know how many other fish you caught.

* In fishing you lie about the one that got away. In loving you lie about the one you caught.

* You can catch and release a fish, you don’t have to lie and promise to still be friends after you let it go.

* You don’t have to necessarily change your line to keep catching fish.

* You can catch a fish on a 20-cent nightcrawler. If you want to catch a woman you’re talking dinner and a movie minimum.

* Fish don’t mind if you fall asleep in the middle of fishing.



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