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1. Look at the size of his putter.
2. Oh, dang, my shaft’s all bent.
3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker.
4. After 18 holes I can barely walk.
5. My hands are so sweaty I can’t get a good grip.
6. Lift your head and spread your legs.
7. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired.
8. Just turn your back and drop it.
9. Hold up. I’ve got to wash my balls.
10. Damn, I missed the hole again.

Yorkshiremen are known for their devotion to cricket. In fact, one day, an avid Yorkshire fan was asked, ‘If your wife and Geoff Boycott were in a house that was falling over a cliff, who would you save?’ ‘Are you kidding?’ was the reply. ‘My wife’s a lousy bat.

The two rival cricketers were talking.
‘The local team wants me to play for them very badly.’
‘Well, you’re just the man for the job.’

In a country town match, the batsman was out first ball. ‘Not like last week,’ said the wicket-keeper.
‘No,’ said the batsman. ‘Last week I stayed in and got forty and when I got back all the beer was gone!’

Q: What three golfers would you not want to be behind on a golf course?

A: O. J. Simpson because he’s a slicer, Monica because she’s a hooker, and Bill Clinton because he never knows what hole he’s on.



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