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Q: Why does the University of Tennesse football team wear orange to all their Saturday games?

A: So that they can wear the same outfit to go hunting on Sunday, and to work on Monday.

Four married guys go golfing on Sunday. During the 3rd hole the following conversation ensued:

First Guy: “Man, you have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out golfing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend.”

Second Guy: “That’s nothing, I had to promise my wife that I will build her a new deck for the pool.”

Third Guy: “Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I will remodel the kitchen for her.”

They continue to play the hole when they realized that the fourth guy has not said a word. So they ask him. “You haven’t said anything about what you had to do to be able to come golfing this weekend. What’s the deal?”

Fourth Guy: “I don’t want to talk about it. Let’s just say that the foundation for the new house is being poured next Tuesday.”

The Dallas newspapers reported yesterday that Texas Stadium is going to take out the artificial turf because the Cowboys play better on “grass”.

Q: What’s the difference between Courtney Love and Wayne Gretzky?

A: Wayne takes a shower after 3 periods.

The spider walk to the crease.
‘Oh no, not him again,’ sighed the grasshopper. ‘Is he good?’ asked a beetle.
‘It’s not that,’ said the grasshopper, ‘it’s just that he stays in so long.
The only way to get him out is l.l.l.l.l.b.w. !
Two old cricketers were talking in the club.
‘What was your highest score?’ ‘A hundred and ten not out.’
‘Mine was a hundred and twenty not out’.
‘And what was the most number of wickets you took?’.
‘Oh, no. This time you go first.’
The captain was in despair at his side’s fielding. Match after match, they dropped every chance that came their way. Finally one day the captain called his men together and told them that he was taking them fishing.
What for? they asked.
‘To make sure you catch something this season!’

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