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A woman golfer suffers a nasty bee sting and leaves the course to go see her doctor about it.

“What happened?” asked the doctor.

“I got stung between the first and second hole,” replied the lady golfer.

The doctor replied, “You must have an awfully wide stance!”

Once there were three friends and they would boast to each other about their belonging and achievements.
Well things had deteriorated to such an extent that they would boast about anything among themselves.
“I went hunting once” said one of them. He paused for a while and said further “I could not find a single Tiger the whole day. I was returning back to my Camp, and guess what I saw a Tiger right in front of me glaring at me”.
“Then what happened”? enquired another eagerly.
What can happen? he replied and continued… I took my gun and aimed at the Tiger, just then I realised I had forgotten to load my gun. Then… asked his friend.
I pointed the gun and said slowly BANG and the Tiger died.

Another said I was also hunting Tiger in the forest like you. I couldn’t find any Tiger that day and when I was returning back I felt someone following me from the back, when I turned around the gun fell from my hand and the Tiger came very close to me sniffing.
What happened next?
I had the bullets in my breast pocket I only had to touch them… the Tiger died.

Third said.. I had an interview to attend and while I was travelling in the bus it had a puncture. Looking at my watch I had very little time in hand so I took a short-cut from the nearby zoological garden and guess what the first jump of mine made me land in the Tiger’s cage.
Then what happened… asked his friends.
I went through my pocket no gun no bullets just a folded paper with trembling hand I unfolded the paper the Tiger died…
Nonsense said his friends your paper has no relation with the hunting…
Why he replied… That was my GUN LICENCE.

An elderly lady from a remote little town went to one of Philadelphia’s most fashionable suburbs to visit her niece and husband. Nearby was a very well known golf course.

On the second afternoon of her visit, the elderly lady went for a stroll. Upon her return, the young niece asked, “Well, Auntie, did you enjoy yourself?”

“Oh, yes, indeed,” said Auntie, beaming.

“Before I had walked very far,” she continued, “I came to some beautiful rolling fields. There seemed to be a number of people about, mostly men. Some of them kept shouting at me in a very eccentric manner, but I took no notice. There were four men who followed me for some time, uttering curious excited barking sounds. Naturally, I ignored them, too.

“Oh, by the way,” she added, as she held out her hands, “I found a number of these curious little round white balls, so I picked them all up and brought them home hoping you could explain what they’re for.”

A husband and wife love to golf together, but neither of them are
playing like they want to, so they decide to take private lessons.

The husband has his lesson first. After the pro sees his swing, he
says, “No no, no, you’re gripping the club way too hard!”
“Well, what should I do?” asks the man.
“Hold the club gently,” the pro replied, “just like you’d hold your
wife’s breast.”

The man takes the advice, takes a swing, and POW! He hits the ball
250 yds. straight up the fairway. The man goes back to his wife
with the good news, and the wife can’t wait for her lesson.

The next day the wife goes for her lesson. The pro watches her
swing and says, “No, no, no, you’re gripping the club way too hard.”
“What can I do?” asks the wife.
“Hold the club gently, just like you’d hold your husband’s penis.”

The wife listens carefully to the pro’s advice, takes a swing, and
THUMP. The ball goes straight down the fairway. . . about 15 ft.

“That was great,” the pro says with a straight face.
“Now, take the club out of your mouth and swing it like you’re
supposed to!”

OJ Simpson is being held by police for his alleged involvement in a hotel room armed robbery to take back his memorabilia. Can you believe he’s had enough time to write a new book?
It’s titled “If I Did This 2″!

© 2015