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Joe decides to take his boss Phil to play 9 holes on their lunch. While both men are playing excellent they are often held up by two women in front of them moving at a very slow pace. Joe offers to talk to the women and see if they can speed it up a bit. He gets about half of the way there stops and jogs back.

His boss asks what the problem is. “Well one of those women is my wife and the other my mistress,” complained Joe. Phil just shook his head at Joe and started toward the women determined to finish his round of golf. Preparing to ask the ladies to speed up their game, he too stopped short and turned around.

Joe asked “what’s wrong?” It’s a small, small world Joe, and you’re fired”

Q: Why are football players never asked for dinner?

A: Because they’re always dribbling!

The scene was Mount Olympus, where Bacchus, the Greek god of wine, had thrown a party for a pair of visiting Roman deities — Ceres, the goddess of agriculture, and Janus, the two-faced god of doors and beginnings.

Everyone over did it, more or less. Ceres at one point was staggering and turning in circles; Janus, equally submerged, was trying to dance with her. Bacchus feared that the pair might fall over, so he went to steady them. This marked the first time that a whirled Ceres was held with a double-header.

George was describing a 30 pound Bass he’d caught recently after fighting it for three hours. Bill interrupted the story saying, “I saw the picture you took of that fish. You’re lucky if it even weighed 10 pounds.”

George replied, “Well… a fish can lose an awful lot of weight during three hours of fighting.”

Q: What do fishermen and hypochondriacs have in common?
A: They don’t really have to catch anything to be happy.



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