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Two guys go hunting. Jerry has never gone hunting while Joe has hunted all his life.
When they get to the northern Wisconsin woods, Joe tells Jerry to sit by a tree and not make a sound while Joe checks out a deer stand. After he gets about a quarter of a mile away, Joe hears a blood-curdling scream.
He rushes back to Jerry and yells, “I thought I told you to be quiet!”
Jerry says, “Hey, I tried. I really did. When those snakes crawled over me, I didn’t make a sound. When that bear was breathing down my neck, I didn’t make a peep. But when those two chipmunks crawled up my pants leg and said, Should we take them with us or eat them here? I couldn’t keep quiet any more!”

Three hunters decided if they got separated or lost, they would use the yodeling cry “oh-lady-hoo” to help locate each other. One hunter got lost and yelled “oh-lady-hoo” until he was hoarse but to no avail.

When it began to get dark, he gave up trying to find his friends, saw light at a nearby farmhouse, knocked on the front door and asked the farmer if he could stay the night.

“No problem,” he said, “I’ve got a spare room you’re welcome to use.”

Toward morning, the hunter was awakened by the farmer’s young daughter as she slipped into his bed. In no time at all they were going at it hot and heavy and in a few minutes she had an orgasm. Her cries of ecstasy soon brought an angry father into the bedroom.

He had a loaded shotgun and said to the hunter, “You better get dressed real fast ’cause you and me are going down to the barnyard to see if you can haul ass fast enough to outrun a load of buckshot!”

As soon as they reached the barnyard, the frightened hunter took off like a scalded cat, jumped high in the air to clear the barnyard fence, thought of his missing friends, yelled “oh-lady-hoo” and instantly received a full load of buckshot in his rear end.

As he lay on the ground bleeding profusely, the farmer walked up and said, “I know my daughter pretty well and had my mind halfway made up not to shoot. But, when you yelled, ‘I got the old lady too,’ that changed my mind real quick.”

Once there were three friends and they would boast to each other about their belonging and achievements.
Well things had deteriorated to such an extent that they would boast about anything among themselves.
“I went hunting once” said one of them. He paused for a while and said further “I could not find a single Tiger the whole day. I was returning back to my Camp, and guess what I saw a Tiger right in front of me glaring at me”.
“Then what happened”? enquired another eagerly.
What can happen? he replied and continued… I took my gun and aimed at the Tiger, just then I realised I had forgotten to load my gun. Then… asked his friend.
I pointed the gun and said slowly BANG and the Tiger died.

Another said I was also hunting Tiger in the forest like you. I couldn’t find any Tiger that day and when I was returning back I felt someone following me from the back, when I turned around the gun fell from my hand and the Tiger came very close to me sniffing.
What happened next?
I had the bullets in my breast pocket I only had to touch them… the Tiger died.

Third said.. I had an interview to attend and while I was travelling in the bus it had a puncture. Looking at my watch I had very little time in hand so I took a short-cut from the nearby zoological garden and guess what the first jump of mine made me land in the Tiger’s cage.
Then what happened… asked his friends.
I went through my pocket no gun no bullets just a folded paper with trembling hand I unfolded the paper the Tiger died…
Nonsense said his friends your paper has no relation with the hunting…
Why he replied… That was my GUN LICENCE.

Once there were three friends and they would boast to each other about their belonging and achievements.
Well things had deteriorated to such an extent that they would boast about anything among themselves.
“I went hunting once” said one of them. He paused for a while and said further “I could not find a single Tiger the whole day. I was returning back to my Camp, and guess what I saw a Tiger right in front of me glaring at me”.
“Then what happened”? enquired another eagerly.
What can happen? he replied and continued… I took my gun and aimed at the Tiger, just then I realised I had forgotten to load my gun. Then… asked his friend.
I pointed the gun and said slowly BANG and the Tiger died.

Another said I was also hunting Tiger in the forest like you. I couldn’t find any Tiger that day and when I was returning back I felt someone following me from the back, when I turned around the gun fell from my hand and the Tiger came very close to me sniffing.
What happened next?
I had the bullets in my breast pocket I only had to touch them… the Tiger died.

Third said.. I had an interview to attend and while I was travelling in the bus it had a puncture. Looking at my watch I had very little time in hand so I took a short-cut from the nearby zoological garden and guess what the first jump of mine made me land in the Tiger’s cage.
Then what happened… asked his friends.
I went through my pocket no gun no bullets just a folded paper with trembling hand I unfolded the paper the Tiger died…
Nonsense said his friends your paper has no relation with the hunting…
Why he replied… That was my GUN LICENCE.

A man decided to buy a new telescope for his rifle as hunting season was about to start. He goes to a rifle shop and asks the clerk to show him a scope.

The clerk takes out a scope and says to the man, “This scope is so good, you can see my house all the way up on that hill.” The man takes a look through the scope and starts laughing.

“What’s so funny?” asks the clerk.

“I see a naked man and a naked woman running around in the house,” the man replies.

The clerk grabs the scope from the man and looks at his house. Then he hands two bullets to the man and says, “Here are two bullets, I’ll give you this scope for nothing if you take these two bullets, shoot my wife’s head off and shoot the guy’s dick off.”

The man takes another look through the scope, and says, “You know what? I think I can do that with one shot!”



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