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Two couples went out golfing together. The men hit first from the men’s tee and walked with the ladies to their tee box.

The first lady took a mighty swing at the ball, missing it completely, while passing some gas rather loudly in the process. No one commented.

She addressed the ball again but this time she passed just a little gas as she made contact with the ball, topping it and moving it only a short distance.

She said, “I wonder why it didn’t go any further?”

One of the men said, “I don’t think you gave it enough gas!”

A guy stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity, looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed … driving his partner nuts.

Finally his exasperated partner says, “What the hell is taking so long? Hit the damned ball!”

The guy answers, “My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot.”

“Give me a break! You don’t stand a snowball’s chance in hell of hitting her from here.”

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course.
One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long
funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing,
takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes and bows in prayer.

His friend says, “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing
I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.”

The man then replies, “Yeah, well we were married for 35 years.”

A couple met at Hilton Head and fell in love. They were discussing how they would continue the relationship after their vacations were over. “It’s only fair to warn you, Jody,” Bill said, “I’m a golf nut. I live, eat, sleep and breathe golf.”

“Well, since you’re being honest, so will I.” Jody said. “I’m a hooker.”

“I see.” he said. Then, brightening, he smiled. “It’s probably because you’re not keeping your wrists straight when you hit the ball.”

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course.
One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long
funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing,
takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes and bows in prayer.

His friend says, “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing
I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.”

The man then replies, “Yeah, well we were married for 35 years.”



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