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After the first day of football practice one guy Travis asks Justin, “Justin, do you know that you have a cork in you a–?” Justin simply says “yea.”
Travis replys “Well, doesn’t it hurt?”

“yea, but i can’t take it out” Travis is confused, “why not?” he asked.

Justin says “well, over the summer i was walking on the beach and i found a bottle with a cork in it. So, i pulled the cork out and a genie popped out and said that she will grant me one wish. So i said NO S—!!!!!”

On a crowded tram going to the football game the fan resplendent in black and white colours had a large magpie tucked under his arm.

Sitting directly opposite, at face level with the magpie, was an old codger flaunting a scarf in the opposing team’s colours. “They won’t let you take a pig into the ground ya know,” he said loudly

“It’s not a pig, it’s a magpie ya dick head,” said the fan in the black and white scarf.

“I wasn’t talking to you,” said the old codger.

The pro football team had just finished their daily practice session when a large turkey came strutting onto the field. While the players gazed in amazement, the turkey walked up to the head coach and demanded a tryout. Everyone stared in silence as the turkey caught pass after pass and ran right through the defensive line. When the turkey returned to the sidelines, the coach shouted, “You’re terrific!!! Sign up for the season, and I’ll see to it that you get a huge bonus.” “Forget the bonus,” the turkey said, “All I want to know is, does the season go past Thanksgiving Day?”

After the big Super Bowl party, Doug figured he better spend some quality time with his wife. He climbs upstairs, walks in the bedroom and crawls into bed.

“Alright honey,” he says, “Give me a play you want me to run.”

“How about foreplay?” his wife replies.

“What’s the foreplay?” says Doug.

“You know,” the wife says, “It happens before the two minute warning.”

A first-grade teacher explains to her class that she is an Indianapolis Colts fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they are Colts fans too. Not really knowing what a Colts fan was, but wanting to be liked by their teacher, their hands fly into the air.

There is, however, one exception. Kelly has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. “Because I’m not a Colts fan” she reports.

“Then,” asks the teacher,” What are you?”

“I’m a Chicago Bears fan,” boasts the little girl.

The teacher asks Susie why she is a Bears fan.

“Well, my Dad and Mom are Bears fans, so I’m a Bears fan too,” she responds.

“That’s no reason,” the teacher says. “What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was an idiot. What would you be then?”

Kelly smiles and says, “Then I’d be a Colts fan.”



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