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Two pigeons were talking as they stood on the boundary watching the game. ‘Now here’s what we do,’ ‘We wait till the bowler runs up and bowls, and then, as the batsman hits it, we suddenly fly up over the stand. It gets the crowd every time!’

Q: Why did the football coach go to the bank?
A: To get his Quarter back.

The room was full of pregnant women and their partners, and the
Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the
women how to breathe properly, along with informing the men how
to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan.

The teacher then announced, “Ladies, exercise is good for you.
Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn’t
hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner!”

The room really got quiet.

Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand.

“Yes?” replied the teacher.

“Is it alright if she carries a golf bag while we walk?”

Q: Why are the N.Y. Giants like a tampon?

A: They’re only good for one period and have no second string.

It’s the first day of school and the teacher thought she’d get to know the kids by asking them their name and what their father does for a living.

The first little girl says: “My name is Mary and my daddy is a postman.”

The next little boy says: “I’m Andy and my dad is a mechanic.”

Then one little boy says, looking quite ashamed: “My name is Johnny and my father cleans toilets for a living.”

The teacher awkwardly and quickly changes the subject, but later in the school yard the teacher approaches Johnny privately and asks if it was really true that his Dad cleans toilets for a living, wanting to talk with him about his shame.

He blushed and said, “No, I’m sorry. My dad plays football for the Chicago Bears and I was just too embarrassed to say so.”

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