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Q: What part of a football pitch smells nicest?

A: The scenter spot!

Once, there was a preacher who was an avid golfer. Every chance he could get, he would be on the golf course swinging away. It was an obsession. One Sunday was a picture-perfect day for golfing. The sun was out, no clouds were in the sky, and the temperature was just right.
The preacher was in a quandary as to what to do, and shortly, the urge to play golf overcame him. He called an assistant to tell him that he was sick and could not do church, packed the car up, and drove three hours to a golf course where no one would recognize him. Happily, he began to play the course.
An angel up above was watching the preacher and was quite perturbed. He went to God and said, “Look at the preacher. He should be punished for what he is doing.”
God nodded in agreement. The preacher teed up on the first hole. He swung at the ball, and it sailed effortlessly through the air and landed right in the cup 250 yards away. A picture-perfect hole-in-one. He was amazed and excited.
The angel was a little shocked. He turned to God and said, “I beg your pardon, but I thought you were going to punish him.”
God smiled. “Think about it-who can he tell?”

In a country town match, the batsman was out first ball. ‘Not like last week,’ said the wicket-keeper.
‘No,’ said the batsman. ‘Last week I stayed in and got forty and when I got back all the beer was gone!’

As two NBA basketball referees walked through the countryside, they noticed some tracks. First said, ‘Deer tracks?’ Second said ‘No, bear tracks.’ However, the conversation ended abruptly when a train hit them.

A hack golfer spends a day at a plush country club, playing golf and enjoying the luxury of a complimentary caddy. Being a hack golfer, he plays poorly all day. Round about the 18th hole, he spots a lake off to the left of the fairway. He looks at the caddy and says, “I’ve played so poorly all day, I think I’m going to go drown myself in that lake.”

The caddy looks back at him and says, “I don’t think you could keep your head down that long.”



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