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Q: Whats the difference between pink and purple?

A: Your grip.

KY Jelly have jumped on the Millennium bandwagon with the slogan for their new product: “Y2K-Y Jelly: when you want to put four digits where only two could fit before!”

Q: What do a dildo and soy beans have in common?
A: They are both used as substitute meat.

This guy goes into a doctors and says “Doctor, doctor you’ve gotta help me. I just can’t stop having sex!”
“Well how often do you have it?” the doctor asks.
“Well, twice a day I have sex with my wife, TWICE a day”, he answers back.
“That’s not so much”, says the doctor.
“Yes, but thats not all. Twice a day I have sex with my secretary, TWICE a day,” replies the man.
“Well that is probably a bit excessive,” says the doctor.
“Yes, but thats not all. Twice a day I have sex with a prostitute, TWICE a day,” says the man.
“Well, that’s definitely to much”, says the doctor. “You’ve got to learn to take yourself in hand.”
“I do”, says the man. “Twice a day.”

A little boy and girl at school having lunch in the shelter shed.

“Tommy,” she said, “I’m not eating any more chicken sandwiches.”

“Why?” he asked.

“Cause I’m starting to grow feathers down here,” she said, pointing to the bottom of her tummy.

“I don’t believe you!” he said. “You’ll have to show me.”

Behind the shed they went, where the inspection took place.

“Gee, you’re right,” he said. “I’ve been eating a lot of chicken, perhaps I’m getting feathers too.”

“Well, I’d better have a look,” she said.

After a lengthy examination, she looked up and said, “Oh, I think it’s too late for you, you’ve got the neck and giblets too!”



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