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Q: Did you hear that Rock Hudson was thinking about buying a cookie franchise?
A: He was going to call it Famous Anus.

One morning, this gay man woke up from a wonderful dream, only to hear his partner in the bathroom making grunting and moaning sounds. The gay man got out of bed, walked down the hall and opened the bathroom door. The gay man looked at his partner, masturbating with a condom on.

“What the hell are you doing???” The gay man asked his partner.

The gay man’s partner looked up at him sheepishly, “Oh… I was just packing your lunch!”

Rules of Play
Each player shall provide his own equipment – normally one club and
two balls.
Play on a course must be approved by the owner of the hole.
Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and
keep the balls out of the
For the most effective play, the club owner should have a firm shaft.
Course owners are
permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins.
Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid
damage to the hole.
The object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until
the course owner is
satisfied that the play is complete. Failure to do so may result in
denied permission to play
the course again.
It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon
arrival at the course.
The experienced players will normally take time to admire the entire
course, with special
attention to well formed bunkers.
Players are encouraged not to mention other courses they have played,
or are currently
playing, to the owner of the course being played. Upset owners have
been known to
damage a player’s equipment for this reason.
Players are encouraged to bring proper rain gear for their own
Players should assure themselves that their match has been properly
scheduled, particularly
when a new course is being played for the first time. Previous players
have been known to
become irate if they discover someone else playing on what they
considered to be a private
Players should not assume a course is in shape for play at all times.
Some players may be
embarrassed if they find the course to be temporarily under repair.
Players are advised to be
extremely tactful in this situation. More advanced players will find
alternate means of play
at this time.
Players are advised to obtain the course owner’s permission before
attempting to play the
back nine.
Slow play is encouraged. However, players should be prepared to
proceed at a quicker
pace, at least temporarily, at the course owner’s request.
It is considered outstanding performance, time permitting, to play the
same course several
times in one month.

While away at a convention, an executive happened to meet a young woman
who was pretty and intelligent. When he persuaded her to disrobe in his
hotel room, he found out she had a superb body as well. Unfortunately,
the executive found himself unable to perform.

On his first night home, the executive walked from the shower into the
bedroom to find his wife covered in a rumpled bathrobe, her hair
curled, her face creamed, munching candy loudly while she pored through
a movie magazine.

Then, without warning, he felt the onset of a magnificent erection.
Looking down at this, he snarled, “Why you ungrateful, mixed-up son of
a bitch. Now I know why they call you a prick!”

Leaving the wedding reception the honeymoon couple hailed a cab to take them to their romantic boutique hotel in the hills. The driver wasn’t too sure how to get there and said he would ask directions when they got closer.

Meanwhile, the lovers couldn’t wait and got down to it on the back seat. Seeing a fork in the road the driver said, “I take the next turn, right?”

“No way, get your own,” said the groom, “this one’s all mine.”

© 2015