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Not long after his marriage, Ernie Junior and his father Ernie senior, met for lunch.

“Well son,” asked Ernie senior, “How is married life treating you?”

“Not very well, I’m afraid,” sighed junior. “It seems I married a nun.”

“A nun?” his father questioned.

“That’s right,” moaned Ernie junior. “None in the morning, none at night, and none at all unless I beg!”

Ernie senior nodded knowingly and slapped his boy on the back a couple of times. “Why don’t we all get together for dinner tonight and have a nice talk?”

Young Ernie smiled, “Say, Dad, that’s a great idea!”

“Fine,” replied Ernie senior, “I’ll call home and tell the Mother Superior to set two extra plates.”

A guy walks a woman to the door after there first date. He asks her if she has had a good time.She tells him yes but that to get her really horny she likes her men to be rough, tough and selfish.

The next week the guy picks her up for there evening out dressed in a bikers black leathers. He grabs her throws her on the back of his newly rented Harley and away they go to the nearest bikers bar.

The whole evening is spent drinking and brawling with the bikers. When they get back to her house, he drags her up to the bedroom.

He asks her, “Well, was I rough?”

“Yes,” she purrs and rubs herself suggestively.

“And was I tough?” he asks.

“Oh yes,” she moans.

“Well them its time to be selfish,” he says. So he whips out his penis and gives himself a handjob.

Don was looking for a little “action.” He picked up a sweet young thang
at the bar and took her back to his hotel room.
Little did he know she was damn near a nymphomaniac.
After six times, she was screaming for more. After the *eighth* time, Don
told her that he needed to slip out for a pack of cigarettes.
On the way out, he stopped in the men’s room. He stood in front of the
urinal, unzipped, and felt a moment of panic when he couldn’t find his
dick. After a couple of minutes of “fishing around,” he finally said,
“Look, it’s ok. She’s not here!”

Q: How is a man like a snow fall?
A: You never know how many inches you’ll get or how long it will last.

Q: How do old people have oral sex?

A: They talk about it.

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