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Q: What’s a Jewish American Princess’s idea of kinky sex?

A: She moves.

Three women were sitting around talking about their sex lives.

The first said, “I think my husband’s like a championship golfer. He’s spent the last ten years perfecting his stroke.”

The second woman said, “My husband’s like the winner of the Indy 500. Every time we get into bed he gives me several hundred exciting laps.”

The third woman was silent until she was asked, “Tell us about your husband.”

She thought for a moment and said, “My husband’s like an Olympic gold-medal-winning quarter-miler.”

“How so?”

“He’s got his time down to under 40 seconds.”

Allen took his blind date to the carnival. “What would you like to do first, Sandra?” asked Allen.
“I want to get weighed,” said Sandra.
They ambled over to the weight guesser. He guessed 120 pounds. She got on the scale; it read 117 and she won a prize.
Next, the couple went on the Ferris Wheel. When the ride was over, Allen again asked Sandra what she would like to do. “I want to get weighed,” she said. Back to the weight guesser they went. Since they had been there before, he guessed her correct weight, and Allen lost his dollar.
The couple walked around the carnival and again he asked where to next. “I want to get weighed,” she responded. By this time, Allen figured she was really weird and took her home early, dropping her off with a handshake.
Her roommate, Laura, asked her about the blind date, “How did it go?” Sandra responded, “Oh, Waura, it was wousy.”

I read last week how there are more than one million battered women in the United States each year. All these years I’ve been eating them raw.

A blind guy goes into a whore house. A girl takes him upstairs and starts
giving him a blowjob.
He says to her, “Excuse me, aren’t you Karen Carlton, and didn’t you go to
Cardozo High School in Detroit?”
“Yes. How’d you know?”
“I never forget a face.”



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