Joke's Database
Have fun searching 100253 jokes and pictures!

10) If the date goes bad, changing your Screen Name is easier then changing your real name.

9) Bathing, dressing, supplying atmosphere is optional.

8) If you get drunk and blackout, you only wake up next to a keyboard.

7) You can exercise your offensive habits without embarrassing yourself.

6) Viagra! Who needs Viagra?

5) Your partner could have more of a personality than your inflatable friends.

4) Three words: No shotgun weddings.

3) All guys look like George Clooney and all woman like Pamela Anderson.

2) They never have to know you live in your parents basement.

1) If you catch a virus, only your computer dies.

It was laying limp in my hand. It was very long, kind of thin. I
slid it between my fingers until I got to the end of it. I was
turning it on. It became firm in my hands, and the end was
wet. Then it got very hard and began gushing out of the tip.

Then I took the garden hose and watered the bushes.

Robinson came home in great excitement and said to his wife, “You’ll
never believe it, dear, but I’ve discovered an entirely new position
for lovemaking.”
“Really,” said Mrs. Robinson, interested at once. “What is it?”
“Back to back.”
“But that’s crazy. We can’t do anything back to back.”
“Yes we can. I’ve persuaded another couple to help out.”

Q: What is a yankee?
A: A quickie, but you do it yourself.

A married couple was on holiday in the Middle East and they came upon the main city bazaar. They walked around the market place looking at the goods and such, when they passed a small sandal shop.

From inside they heard a gentleman say, “You foreigners? Come in my friends. Come into my humble shop. Salam a leekem!” (hello in english) So the couple walked in.

The bazaar merchant says to them, “I have some special sandals I think you’d be interested in. They make you wild at sex like a great desert camel.”

After hearing this statement, the wife became intrigued and encouraged her husband to try them on. Her husband smirked and winked at his wife, with the comment, ” I don’t think I really need them.” But since they were having fun in the bazaar, he asked the merchant, “So, how could sandals make you into a sex animal?”

The merchant smiled and replied, “Just try them on, my friend, trust me!”

Well, in the combined spirit of goodwill and after much badgering from his wife, he finally consented to try them on.

The husband put the shoes on and and a wild look seemed to appear in his eyes, something his wife has not seen in many years — the look of raw sexual power.

In a blink of the eye, the husband rushed the merchant, threw him on the table and started tearing at the guys pants.

While trying to run away, the bazaar merchant is yelling non-stop, “You’ve got the shoes on the wrong feet…You’ve got the shoes the wrong feet!!”

© 2015