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A college student picked up his date at her parents home. He’d
scraped together every cent he had to take her to a fancy restaurant.
To his dismay, she ordered almost everything expensive on the menu.
Appetizers, lobster, champagne. . .the works. Finally he asked her,
“Does your Mother feed you like this at home?”
“No,” she said, “but my Mother’s not looking to get laid, either.”

Q: Why is urine yellow and sperm white?

A: So men can tell if they are coming or going.

Q: What do a moped and a blonde have in common?
A: They’re both fun to ride until a friend sees you on one.

Two nuns decide they’re going to sneak out of the convent and have a real night on the town. They hit all the bars and dance clubs, and decide they’ve finally got to head back to the convent.

To enter the convent’s grounds they have to crawl under some barbed wire. The nuns start crawling under the wire on their bellies.

As they’re crawling under the wire, the first nun turns to the second and says, “I feel like a marine.”

The second replies, “Yeah, me too, but where can you find one this time of night?”

* You’re sure to get at least one of your favorite dishes.

* The turkey never suffers from modesty.

* You can nibble before dinner even if mom sees you.

* You are expected to pass the dishes around.

* There are always at least two kinds of desert, with or without whipped cream.

* They give you the day off with pay to have dinner.

* Thanksgiving dinner is a “sure” thing.

* Seconds are encouraged. Take home, too!!

* You’re expected to fall asleep after dinner.

* You are expected to watch football BEFORE and AFTER dinner.



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