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A man decides to have a party and invites lots of people, telling them to bring their friends. On the invitation he puts “Theme Party-Come as a Human Emotion.”

On the night of the party, the first guest arrives. He opens the door to see a guy covered in green paint with the letters N and V painted on his chest. He says to this guy, “Wow, great outfit, what emotion have you come as?”

The guy says, “I’m green with envy.”

The host replies, “Brilliant, come on in and have a drink.”

A few minutes later the next guest arrives and the host opens the door to see a woman covered in a pink body stocking with a feather bow wrapped round her most intimate parts. He says to this woman, “Wow, great outfit, what emotion have you come as?”

And she replies, “I’m tickled pink.”

The host says, “I love it! Come on in and join the party.”

A couple of minutes later the doorbell rings for the third time, and the host opens the door to see two guys from New York, stark naked, one with his penis stuck in a bowl of custard and the other with his penis stuck in a pear.

The host is really shocked and says, “Guys, what the hell are you doing? You could get arrested for standing like that out there in the street. What emotion is this supposed to be?”

The first guy replies, “Well, I’m fuckin’ dis custid, and my friend here has come in dispair.”

Q: What do you call going on a blind date with a brunette?

A: Brown-bagging it.

The two East Coast hookers decided to move to the West Coast and while driving through New Mexico they stopped at a little general store. Well, low and behold there were two older Indian women siting on the front porch and the four women started up a conversation.

The one older Indian woman said, “Well I’m a Navajo and she is an Arapaho.”

One of the East Coast hookers said, “No Shit, Well, I’m a New York Ho and she is a Chicago Ho.”

Q: What do you call a brunette in a room full of blondes?

A: Invisible.

A coupla Aggies, Buck and Thurleen, married after graduating from
Texas A&M, are driving from Dallas down to a motel in Austin for their
honeymoon. Along the way, Buck reaches over and puts his hand on
Thurleen’s knee.

Thurleen smiles, blushes and says, “Oh Buck, we’re married now, you
can go farther than that!”

So he drove on to Laredo.

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