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Q: What is the difference between a Slut and a Bitch?
A: A Slut sleeps with everyone, a bitch sleeps with everyone but you!

Q: What is pink and moist and split in the middle?

A: A grapefruit!

Q: What did the banana say to the vibrator?
A: What are YOU shaking for? She’s going to eat me!

I can’t help but wonder sometimes though why lovemaking is almost
always referred to in theatrical terms. For example, surely you’ve
heard men refer to their “performance”. Well, even these days I don’t
have a lot of trouble with that.

But… since I’m now past fifty, the “encores” are getting tuffer and
tuffer.

A man strides into a bar wearing a long trench coat and carrying a closed box. He walks up to the bar places the box upon it. He then opens the trench coat, revealing not only that he is buck naked but also very erect.

He then opens the box and removes a large turtle, at least a good ten pounds or so in weight. He brings it near his pecker and when it gets in reach it clamps on to his pecker. He then releases the turtle from his hands, and it hangs above the stools that line the bar. He walks up the length of the stools and back again, not saying a word.

When he reaches the point from which he started, he smacks the turtle on the head, causing it to release his pecker from its grasp. He puts it back in the box, closes his trench coat, and turns to the rest of the patrons of the bar.

“I’ll give any man who can do that $1000,” he says.

Then, from the back of the room, a really scrawny, dorky, feeble looking guy stands up and says, “I’ll do it… as long as you promise not to hit me on the head when I’m done.”



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