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Uncle Jack and Aunty Mable
Fainted at the breakfast table.

Let this be an awful warning…
Not to do it in the morning.

Ovaltine has put them right,
Now they do it morn and night.

Uncle Jack is hoping soon
To do it in the afternoon.

Hark the herald angels sing,
Ovaltine is a damned good thing!

Q: What does gay stand for?
A: Got Aids Yet

Two men camping in the mountains had spent four days together and they were getting a little testy.

One morning, the first friend says, “You know, we’re starting to get on each other’s nerves. Why don’t we split up today. I’ll hike north and spend the day looking around, you hike south and spend the day. Then tonight, we’ll have dinner and share our experiences over the campfire.”

The second friend agrees and hikes south. The first man hikes north.

That night over dinner, the first man tells his story. “Today I hiked into a beautiful valley. I followed a stream up into a canyon and ate lunch. Then I swam in a crystal clear mountain lake. As I sat out and dried, I watched deer come and drink from the stream. The wildflowers were filled with butterflies and hawks floated all day overhead. How was your day?”

The second friend says, “I went south and ran across a set of railroad tracks. I followed them until I came across a beautiful young woman tied to the tracks. I cut the ropes off, gently lifted her off the tracks and we had sex in every imaginable way all afternoon. Finally, when I was so tired I could barely move, I came back to camp.”

“Wow!!” the first guy exclaimed, “Your day was MUCH better than mine. Did you get a blow job, too?”

“Nah,” says the second friend over his meal, “I couldn’t find her head.”

Q: What do you get when you cross a Rooster with an owl?

A: A Cock that can stay up all night!!

Q: How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
A: Put a nipple on it.



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