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Bill rents an apartment in New York, and goes to the lobby to put his name on the group mailbox. While there, an attractive young lady comes out of the apartment next to the mailboxes wearing a robe. Bill smiles at the young girl and she strike up a conversation with him. As they talk, her robe slips open, and it quite obvious that she has nothing on under the robe. Poor Bill breaks out into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact. After a few minutes, she places her hand on his arm and says, “Let’s go in my apartment, I hear someone coming…”

He proceeds her into the apartment, and after she closes the door, she leans against it allowing her robe to fall completely open. She purrs at him, “What would you say is my best feature?”

The flustered, embarrassed Bill stammers, clears his throat several times, and finally squeaks out, “Oh, it’s got to be your ears!”

She’s astounded! “Why my ears? Look at these boobs! They are full, don’t sag, and they’re all mine! My butt – it’s firm doesn’t sag, and has no cellulite! Look at this skin, no blemishes, or scars! Why in heaven’s name would you say my ears are the best part of my body?!”

Clearing his throat once again, Bill stammers, “Outside when you said you heard someone coming? Well, that was me!!!”

The newlyweds showed up at the hotel and asked for the honeymoon suite.
“Do you have reservations?” asked the desk clerk.
“Only one, ” replied the groom, “she won’t take it up the ass.”

Q: Mom’s have Mother’s Day, father’s have Father’s Day. What do single guys have?
A: Palm Sunday.

Q: What do you call a truckload of vibrators?
A: Toy’s for Twats.

Q: Did you know that Rock Hudson had his auto insurance canceled three times?
A: He kept getting rear-ended.



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