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“I’m finished with Judi!” Jon exclaimed to his friend. “She broke
down and told me she was bisexual. Who the hell wants to
screw just twice a year???”

Q: What do you call three blondes on Santa’s Lap?
A: Ho Ho Ho

“Who Needs Food?”
It’s breakfast time. Sadie asks her husband Moishe, “Would you like some scrambled eggs, perhaps a piece of toast and grapefruit and coffee to follow?”
Moishe replies, “No thanks, it’s this Viagra, it’s really taken the edge off my appetite.”
At lunchtime, Sadie asks Moishe if he would like something to eat. “How about a bowl of your favourite home made vegetable soup, followed by a cheese and tomato sandwich on rye?” she inquires.
Moishe again declines. “It’s this Viagra, it’s really taken the edge off my appetite.”
Come dinnertime, Sadie asks Moishe if he wants anything to eat. She’ll go to the delicatessen and buy him some food. Would he like a nice juicy lamb chop with a tasty stir-fry followed by apple pie and cream?
Again, Moishe says, “No thanks, it’s this Viagra, it’s really taken the edge off my appetite.”
“Well,” Sadie says, “Would you mind getting off me and letting me up? I’m starving.”

Way down in the deep south, in an area known as the ‘Bible Belt,’
there lived a Baptist minister with a very large congregation. One
morning, after a particularly moving sermon, he announced, “Friends I
have been hearing very nasty rumors!”

The crowd fell into an expectant silence. The Minister continued,
“One of you, here among us, has been reporting that I am a member of
the dreaded ‘Klu Klux Klan.’ This, of course, is not true! I am
asking that the guilty party confess and apologize now – right here
- before my flock of loyal followers.”

A young woman quickly stood up blushing and trembling and pled,
“Preacher, please, I don’t know how this all came to be. I just
mentioned to one of my close friends that you were a wizard under
the sheets.”

An escaped convict broke into a house and tied up a young couple who had been sleeping in the bedroom. As soon as he had a chance, the husband turned to his voluptuous young wife, bound up on the bed in a skimpy nightgown, and whispered, “Honey, this guy hasn’t seen a woman in years. Just cooperate with anything he wants. If he wants to have sex with you, just go along with it and pretend you like it. Our lives depend on it.”

“Dear,” the wife hissed, spitting out her gag, “I’m so relieved you feel that way, because he just told me he thinks you have a really nice, tight-looking ass!”



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