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Did you hear about the flasher who was thinking of retiring?
He decided to stick it out for one more year!

Q: How do you make a gay baby cry?

A: Take the pacifier out of his ass.

Judi and a brunette were discussing their boyfriends.
Brunette: Last night I had *three* orgasms in a row!
Judi: That’s nothing; last night I had over a hundred.
Brunette: My god! I had no idea he was that good.
Judi: (looking shocked) Oh, you mean with one guy.

Q: Why is sex like money in the bank?

A: Because when you withdraw, you lose interest.

A man enters a restaurant and while sitting at his table, notices a gorgeous woman sitting at another table, alone. He calls the waiter over and asks for the most expensive bottle of champagne to be sent over to her knowing that if she accepts it, she is his.

The waiter gets the bottle and quickly sends it over to the girl, saying this is from the gentleman. She looks at the champagne and decides to send a note to the man. The note read: “For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your garage, $1 million in liquid assets, and 7 inches in your pants.”

Well, the man, after reading this note, sends one of his own back to her and it read: “Just so you know — I happen to have TWO Mercedes in my garage, I have well over $2 million in assets, but not even for YOU, would I cut off 2 inches! Send the bottle back.”



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