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Penis breath, a lover’s dread,
Is what you get when you give head.
Unpleasant as it tends to be,
Be grateful that he doesn’t pee.

It’s times like this, you wonder why,
You bothered reaching for his fly.
But it’s too late, can’t be a tease,
Accept the facts, get on your knees.

You know you’ve got a job to do,
So open wide and shove it through,
Lick the tip then take it all.
Don’t drag your teeth or he might bawl.

Slide up and down, use your tongue.
And feel the precum start to run,
Your jaw it aches, your neck is numb,
So when the hell’s he gonna cum?

Just, when you can’t take anymore,
You hear your lover’s mighty roar.
And when he hits that real high note,
You feel it oozing down your throat.

Salty, fishy, sticky stuff,
Okay already, that’s enough.
Let’s switch you say, before you gag,
And what revenge, you’re on the rag!

Q: How does a yuppie couple perform doggie-style sex?
A: He sits up and begs and she lies down and plays dead.

Q: What did Adam say to Eve?

A: You’d better stand back, I don’t know how big this thing gets.

An old man and his wife were listening to their favorite radio evangelist, who promised, “With God’s incredible powers behind me, I can heal anything! Place one hand on the radio and the other on that which you want healed, and IT SHALL BE HEALED!”

The old woman put one hand on the radio and the other on her heart. The old man put one hand on the radio and the other on his pants.

The woman said, “Uh, honey, he said he could HEAL, not BRING BACK FROM THE DEAD!”

Q: Why do the men in Scotland wear kilts?
A: Because the sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.

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