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A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse
falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go
and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to
the farm but the farmer can’t be found. So he drives the farmer’s
Mercedes back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He
then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and
drives the car forward saving him from sinking!
A few days later, the chicken and horse were playing in the meadow
again and the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken yelled to
the horse to go and get some help from the farmer. The horse said, “I
think I can stand over the hole!” So he stretched over the width of
the hole and said, “Grab for my ‘thingy’ and pull yourself up.” And
the chicken did and pulled himself to safety.
The moral of the story:
If you are hung like a horse, you don’t need a Mercedes to pick up
chicks.

Q: What’s the best way to make yourself last with your girlfriend?

A: Let everyone go first!

A furrier from the US goes to Helsinki to buy furs.
He arranges for a hooker to be sent to his room.

When they’re done, he said, “I’m afraid my
Finnish isn’t too good.”

The hooker replied, “Your foreplay ain’t all
that hot either.”

It goes like this – you get it on with your partner. There is anxious anticipation as you start. You start slowly, climbing your way to the top.

There are smiles exchanged, and giggles, maybe even caressing or hand holding. The excitement builds and builds. It nears the top. The expressions on faces become wondrous and excited. Then as it hits the pinnacle, things move very fast. There’s a quick motion, the heart races with complete excitement; faces are all in total pleasure. Arms are flailing, heads are bouncing, and there is some noticeable screaming going on.

The rest of the ride is up and down, twisting and turning, lots of bumping, sometimes in the light, sometimes in the dark, sometimes there’s a surprise, and sometimes it becomes all too familiar but always…always…at the end, there’s a big smile on the face, hair is all messed up and everyone is talking about how great it is while some of them say, “I wanna go again”…

One day a housewife was going about the usual business of cleaning the
house, when she suddenly felt intensely horny. Unfortunately, her husband
was still at work, so she resorted to stripping off all her clothes and
started to masturbate.
She got very excited, rubbing herself and moaning, and when her husband
walked in, she was writhing in the middle of the living room floor.
He glanced through the mail and said to his wife, “Honey, when you’re
finished vacuuming the floor, could you get started on dinner?”



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