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The new hooker just finished her first trick. When she came back down to the street, the seasoned veterans all gathered around to hear the details.

She said “Well, he was a big muscular and handsome sailor.”

“Well, what did he want to do?” they all asked.

She said, “I told him that a straight lay was $100, but he said he didn’t have that much. So I told him that oral sex would be $75, but he didn’t have that much either. Finally I said, well how much do you have? The sailor said that he only had $25. So I told him for $25 all I can do is service you by hand. He agreed and after getting the finance straight, he pulled it out and I put one hand on it, and then a second hand above the first and then the first hand above the second hand.”

“Oh my god!” they all exclaimed, “It must have been huge. Then what did you do?”

“I loaned him $75!” she said.

Now I lay me down to sleep.
Please don’t send me no more creeps.
Please just send me one good man.
One without a wedding band.

One good man who’s sweet as pie.
Who brushed his teeth and doesn’t lie.
Who dresses neat and doesn’t smell.
And is sexy like my man Denzel.

Man, if I should die before I wake,
that would truly take the cake;
No matrimony or honeymoon.
No fancy reception planned for June.

No throwing of the wedding bouquet.
Please, God, don’t let me go out that way.
If I die before I meet Mr. Right
I won’t go out without a fight.

But then again with my luck,
He’d probably be just some schmuck.
The single life is not that bad
I know it’s just a passing fad.

I won’t be blue. I will not frown.
Besides, I like my toilet seat down.
No more makeup, won’t comb my hair.
So never mind this stupid prayer.

The single life will do just fine.
So what’s up, girlfriend?

Q: What is the difference between a dog and a fox?

A: Eight beers.

Q: What do you call a blonde lesbian?
A: A waste.

Q: How can you tell that Maurice is losing interest in his wife Hette?
A: Because Maurice’s favourite sexual position is next door.

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