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A guy approaches a prostitute on the street and asks her, “how much?” she
replies, “$100 if I lay down and $75 if I stand up.” He asks what the
difference is, and she tells him, “it’s my hairdresser’s fee!”

A guy was on his first date with a notoriously loose girl. She was immediately receptive to his foreplay after they parked. The petting increased and he put his hand in her panties. She seemed to be enjoying his progress, but suddenly objected, “Ouch! That ring is hurting me!”

“That’s no ring! That’s my wristwatch.”

Down in Florida, two widows were talking and one asked the other, “Do you
ever get to feeling horny?”
her friend replied. “What do you do about it?”
“I usually suck on a Lifesaver.”
After a moment of stunned silence her friend asked, “Well, what beach do
you go to?”

It’s so easy to milk a cow. Any jerk can do it.

One day as Monica Lewinsky was walking along the beach awaiting her Senate
trial testimony, she came upon an ornate bottle that had washed up on
shore. Curious, she picked it up, brushed off the sand, and lo and behold
a genie popped out.
“Greetings, Miss Lewinsky,” the genie said. “Since you have released me,
I will grant you one wish.”
“Well,” Monica replied, “I’m going to be on television alot for a while,
and I want to look my best. I wish you would get rid of these love
“Your wish is my command,” said the genie. A wave of his hands, a puff of
And her ears promptly fell off.

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