Joke's Database
     
Have fun searching 100181 jokes and pictures!


The census taker rang the doorbell and was quite surprised when the door was opened by a nude woman. “Don’t be alarmed,” she said, “I’m a nudist.”

Although somewhat embarrassed, the man proceeded to ask the routine questions. “How many children do you have?” he asked.

“Eighteen,” the lady replied.

“Lady,” he gasped, “You’re not a nudist, you just don’t have time to get dressed!”

There were these three nuns that were killed in a traffic accident, and immediately sent to the Pearly Gates. As St. Peter was looking over their files, he said, “You ladies have been very good, but before I can let you in, you have to answer a question.”

So he asks the first nun, “What was the name of the first man that God created?”

“Adam,” she replied. The lights started flashing, music started playing, the angels started singing, and then two angels came out and gave the nun her halo and wings, and off she went into the Pearly Gates.

Then St.Peter asked the second nun, “What was the name of the name of the first woman that God created?”

“Eve,” the nun said. And the lights started and two angels came out and gave the nun her halo and wings, and off she went into the Pearly Gates.

Then St. Peter asked the third nun, “What was the first thing that Eve said to Adam?”

The nun, clearly confused, started scratching her head, and replied, “Gee, that’s a hard one.” And the lights started flashing, the music started playing……

Q: Do I have to be married to have safe fax?
A: No. While it is not unusual for married people to fax quite often, single people safely fax complete strangers everyday.

Q: My parents say they never had fax when they were young and they were only allowed to write memos to each other until they were twenty–one. How old do you think someone should be before they can fax?
A: Faxing can be performed at any age once you learn the correct procedure, but usually adults fax more than children or early teenagers.

Q: If I fax something to myself will I go blind?
A: Absolutely not! Just because you have somehow managed to fax yourself, you certainly will not go blind.

Q: There is a place on our street where you can go and pay to fax. Is it legal?
A: Yes, many people have no outlet for their fax needs and must pay a “professional” when their desire to fax becomes great.

Q: Should a cover always be used when you are faxing?
A: Unless you are really sure of the one you are faxing, a cover should always be used to insure safe fax.

Q: What happens when I lose control of the procedure and fax prematurely?
A: Don’t panic! Many people prematurely fax when they haven’t faxed in a long time. Just start over. The person you are faxing will usually want you to try to fax again.

Q: I fax professionally and on occasion I enjoy faxing on a personal basis. Can transmissions become mixed up?
A: Being bi-faxual can sometimes be confusing. As long as you use the proper cover with each, you won’t transmit anything you are not supposed to.

A Chinese man had three daughters, he asked his eldest daughter what kind of man she would like to marry.

“I would like to marry a man with three dragons on his chest,” said the eldest daughter.

He then asked his second daughter who she would like to marry.

“I would like to marry a man with two dragons on his chest,” said the second daughter.

He finally asked his youngest daughter who she would like to marry.

“I would like to marry a man with one draggin’ on the ground,” said the youngest daughter.

* The Absolut Vodka penis: It’s absolut’ perfection.

* The Alkaseltzer penis: Pop, pop, fizz, fizz… Oh, what a relief it is…

* The All-State penis: You’re in good hands.

* The American Express penis: Don’t leave home without it.

* The AOL penis: It’s so easy to use, no wonder it’s #1?

* The AT&T penis: Reach out and touch someone.

* The Avis penis: Trying harder than ever.

* The Barney penis: It says “I love you!”

* The Beatles penis: Now a quarter smaller than it used to be.

* The Beavis penis: Look! it’s changing color!

* The Beef penis: It’s what’s for dinner.

* The Bic Lighter penis: Go ahead flick my bic!

* The Big Red penis: It’s longer with big red.

* The Borden penis: It’s GOT to be good.

* The Bounty penis: The quicker picker-upper.

* The Budweiser penis: This bud’s for you!

* The Burger King penis: Have it your way..

* The C&C music factory penis: Makes you go hmmmmm…

* The California Lotto penis: Who’s next?

* The Calloway Putter penis: It will improve your stroke.

* The Cambells soup penis: Mmm mmm good!

* The Captain Planet penis: Go PENIS!!

* The Champion penis: The official penis of the ’96 U.S.A olympic team.

* The Charmin double roll penis: It lasts longer because it is longer.

* The Chevy penis: Like a rock.

* The Chips Ahoy penis: Betcha bite a chip. (huh?)

* The Cinnamon Toast Crunch penis: Its the adult thing to do.

* The Citibank visa penis: It’s everywhere you want to be.

* The CNN Sports Illustrated penis: As interactive as you can get without getting bruised.

* The Cobain penis: It blows itself away.

* The Coca Cola penis: Always the Real Thing.

* The Crest penis: Recommended by 3 out of 4 dentists.

* The Dairy Queen penis: Hot eats, cool treats (we treat you right)

* The Dial penis: Aren’t you glad you use it? Don’t you wish everybody did?

* The Diet Pepsi penis: You got the right one, baby.

* The Diet Coke penis: Just for the taste of it…

* The Dodge Neon penis: There’s a “lot more to love!”

* The Domino’s Pizza penis: Delivers in 30 minutes or less!

* The Doublemint penis: Double your pleasure, double your fun!

* The Doublemint penis: Chewing really satisfies.

* The Energizer penis: It keeps going and going…

* The Erricson Cell Phone penis: Whip out your little one.

* The Equal penis: Tastes like Sugar.

* The Excedrin penis: It’s tthhhhiiiiiiissss big.

* The Extra penis: Lasts an extra extra extra long time!

* The Flintstone’s Vitamins penis: 10 million strong and growing!

* The Ford penis: The best never rest.

* The Franks Red Hot Sauce penis: It’s the oooh without the ouch.

* The Frosted Flakes penis: They’re GGGRRRRRREEEEAAAAATTT!

* The Fruit-by-the Foot penis: Need I say more?

* The FTD penis: Some of life’s best moments come FTD.

* The General Electric penis: We bring good things to life!

* The Generic penis: One size fits all.

* The George of the Jungle penis: Watch out for that….tree?

* The Gillette penis: The best a man can get.

* The GMC Envoy penis: It’s the real mcCoy.

* The GMC Yukon penis: Beautifully designed. Powerfully built. Genetically engineered.

* The Hardees Breakfast penis: Rise and shine.

* The Helene Zinn penis: You can’t eat that!!!

* The Insinkerator Disposal penis: The choice of 9 out of 10 professionals.

* The Jell-O penis: Watch it wiggle, watch it jiggle…

* The Jewel penis: Take a new look at an old friend.

* The Jolly Green *Giant* penis: Self-explanatory

* The Juicy Fruit penis: The taste is gonna move ya.

* The Just For Men penis: A sure thing for a natural look.

* The Kix penis: Kid tested, mother approved.

* The Knick Knack Patty Wack penis: This old man comes rolling home!!

* The Lays penis: Betcha can’t eat just one!

* The Life penis: Mikey likes it.

* The Life Call penis: It’s fallen and it can’t get up.

* The Little Caesar’s penis: Penis!! Penis!! or Pleaser! Pleaser!

* The Lucky Charms penis: They’re magically delicious!

* The Luv’s penis: It’ll take a load off your mind.

* The Macintosh penis: It does more,it costs less,it’s that simple.

* The Magnavox penis: Smart. Very Smart.

* The McDonald’s penis: Over 8 billion served.

* The McDonald’s penis: Have you had your break today?

*The MCI penis: For friends and family!

* The Men’s Healthy Magazine penis: It’s a perfect fit.

* The MicroMachines penis: A whole world, in the palm your hand.

* The Microsoft penis: Where do you want to go today?

* The Milk penis: It does a body good!

* The Miller Lite penis: Great taste, less filling.

* The M&M penis: Melts in your mouth, not in your hand!

* The Monty Python penis II: “Every sperm is sacred….”

* The Mortal Kombat penis: Nothing can prepare you.

* The NBA on TNT penis: Ever want something so bad it hurts?

* The New York Lotto penis: Cause hey – you never know.

* The Newport penis: It’s alive with pleasure.

* The Nike penis: Just do it.

* The Nintendo penis: Now you’re playing with power.

* The Nuprin penis: Little, Yellow, Different.

* The Nyquil penis: The nighttime coughing, sneezing,runny nose, itching, burning, so you can’t rest penis.

* The Oasics Running Shoe penis: There’s one less excuse to skip a day.

* The Payday penis: Its almost totally nuts!

* The Phillips MOM penis: It’s always stimulant free.

* The Pillsbury Flour penis: It comes plain or self rising.

* The Pizza Hut penis: Makin’ it great.

* The Pontiac penis: Built for kicks, Built for Keeps!

* The Portofino Bay penis: Extraordinary. Exciting. Exceptional.

* The Post Selects Cereal penis: Not everything that goes into “Post Selects” fits.

* The Power of Cheese penis: Just saying it is enough to make you smile.

* The Pringles penis: Once you pop, you can’t stop…

* The Psychic penis: It knows you are coming before you do..

* The Purdue penis: More meat, less bone.

* The Ragu penis: Comes out chunkier than the rest.

* The Reach Toothbrush penis: It cleans hard to reach places.

* The Reese’s penis: How do you eat your penis?

* The Rice Krispies penis: what does your penis say to you?

* The Right Guard penis: Anything less is uncivilized.

* The Robitussin penis: Used by nine out of ten moms.

* The Robutussin penis: Recommended by Dr. Mom…

* The Sanka penis: Good to the last drop!

* The Sears penis: Come see the softer side.

* The Secret penis: Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.

* The Sega penis: PENIS!

* The Siskel & Ebert penis: 2 thumbs up…

* The Slim Fast penis: Helps you loose weight, makes you feel great.

* The Snickers penis: It satisfies you.

* The Speed Stick Ultimate penis: It kills 99% of odor-causing germs for 24 hours.

* The Springmaid penis: Makes you snore like a lady.

* The Sprite penis: Image is nothing… Taste is everything.

* The Starburst penis: The juice is loose!

* The Star Trek penis: To Boldly Go Where No Man Has Gone Before.

* The Subaru All Wheel Drive penis: You can put it where the sun don’t shine.

* The Taco Bell penis: Get some; make a run for the border!

* The Sustecal penis : More protein, less fat !

* The Timex penis: Takes a lickin and keeps on…….

* The Tombstone penis: What would you like on your penis?

* The Tootsie Roll Pop penis: How many licks DOES it take …?

* The Toyota penis: I love what you do for me!

* The Toyota penis: Oh,what a feeling.

* The Transformers penis: It’s more than meets the eye.

* The Twizzler penis: It makes mouths happy.

* The Uncle Sam penis: We want you.

* The Viagra penis: It lets the dance begin.

* The Virginia Slims penis: You’ve come a long way, baby!

* The Wendy’s penis: Where’s the beef?

* The Wendy’s penis: It takes two hands to handle a whopper.

* The Wizard of Oz penis: “Oh my!”

* The Yellow Pages penis: Let your fingers do the walkin.



© 2015 ijokedb.com