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Steve complained to his friend Al that lovemaking with his wife was
becoming routine and boring.
“Get creative buddy. Break up the monotony. Why don’t you try playing
doctor for an hour?”
“Sounds great,” Steve replied, “but how do you make it last for an hour?”
“Hell, just keep her in the waiting room for 45 minutes!”

Q: What’s the difference between a ritz cracker and a lesbian?

A: One’s a snack cracker, the other a crack snacker!

An old man decides to go to his high school’s 50 year reunion. He hasn’t seen anyone since their 25 year reunion and is very interested to see who might show up. When he gets there he runs into his old high school sweetheart. They sit down at a table and talk about the past 25 years.

“How have you been?” he asks.

“Just fine, just fine,” she replies. “Although I do have some good news and bad news for you.”

“Bad news first please.”

“Well, I had to have a hysterectomy a few years back.”

“Oh, that’s terrible,” he says. “What’s the good news?”

She says, “The doctor found your old high school ring you thought lost.”

A guy met this girl in a bar and asked, “May I buy you a drink?”

“Okay, but it won’t do you any good.”

A little later, he asks, “May I buy you another drink?”

“Okay, but it still won’t do you any good.”

He invites her up to his apartment and she replies, “Okay, but it won’t do you any good.”

They get to his apartment and he says, “You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I want you for my wife.”

She says, “Oh, that’s different. Send her in.”

Q: What did one lesbian say to the other?
A: Your face or mine?



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