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“That bastard husband of mine wanted me to sleep with the
landlord because he lost the rent money playing poker,” the
housewife told a neighbor.

“You didn’t do it, did you?”

“I have to admit I did – though with certain misgivings, I might
add. What I haven’t done, though, is tell my husband the rent
is paid up for six months!”

Q: Why do men name their penis?
A: They like to be on a first name basis with the one making most of their decisions.

Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?

A: Breasts don’t have eyes.

Q: Did you hear that Rock Hudson was thinking about buying a cookie franchise?
A: He was going to call it Famous Anus.

An elderly man and woman meet in a bar and get to talking. They are enjoying their conversation so much that, when the bar closes, they decide to continue at the woman’s apartment. After a time, things start getting pretty romantic and they wind up in bed. Afterward, they’re both laying there, staring at the ceiling.

The old man is thinking …”Gosh, if I had known she was a virgin, I would have been more careful with her.”

The old lady is thinking …”Geez, if I had known he could get it up, I would have taken off my panties.”

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