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97 year old man comes to his doctor looking depressed.
He says “Doc, I think I’m impotent.” Doctor sits him
down and begins the standard speech he gives to senior
citizens, about how as the body ages bodily functions
slow down and it is completely normal to suffer some
decrease in sexual desire. How the man shouldn’t worry
or become upset about it, but should just relax and
things will probably be completely fine and
blah blah blah. Finally the doctor asks “When
did you first begin to think you were impotent?”

“Three times last night, and again this morning.”

(o)(o) Perfect breasts

( + )( + ) Fake silicone breasts

(*)(*) High nipple breasts

(@)(@) Big nipple breasts

oo A cups

{ O }{ O } D cups

(oYo) Wonder bra breasts

( ^)( ^) Cold breasts

(o)(O) Lopsided breasts

(Q)(Q) Pierced breasts

(p)(p) Breasts w/hanging tassels

(:o)(o) Bitten by a vampire breasts

o/o/ Grandma’s breasts

( – )( – ) Flat against the shower door breasts

|o||o| Android breasts

(/)(o) Scratched breasts (ouch)

(%)(o) Extra nipple breasts

($)($) Jenny McCarthy’s breasts

(^o)(o) Zit on your breast

( o Y o ) Poses for Playboy magazine breasts

Q: Can you say three two letter words that denote small?
A: Is it in?

There was a couple who were big over-spenders. They always dreamed to spend holidays in Hawaii, but were never able to save any money to do so. One day they came up with an idea–each time they had sex, they would put $20.00 bill into a piggy bank.

They bought the piggy, and followed that procedure for about a year. After that time, they decided that there was enough money for their dream vacation and broke the piggy bank. The husband looked at their savings and said: “Isn’t it strange. Each time we had sex, I put $20.00 into the piggy. But I see tons of $50.00 bills and a few $100.00 bills.”

The wife replied, “Do you think that everybody is as stingy as you are?”

* “Wanna swap meds?”

* “Can I buy you a spatula?”

* “Bet you’re wondering why I have no nostrils?”

* “Your crawlspace or mine?”

* “You look like the kind of person who appreciates catheters.”

* “May I lick your forehead?”

* “Do you always wear your shoes over your socks? ”

* “Smeep. Smeep. Smeep.”

* “What’s your favorite flavor of wood?”

* “You’ve stolen my heart, but thats okay because I have three more back home in the freezer!”

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