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(o)(o) Perfect breasts

( + )( + ) Fake silicone breasts

(*)(*) High nipple breasts

(@)(@) Big nipple breasts

oo A cups

{ O }{ O } D cups

(oYo) Wonder bra breasts

( ^)( ^) Cold breasts

(o)(O) Lopsided breasts

(Q)(Q) Pierced breasts

(p)(p) Breasts w/hanging tassels

(:o)(o) Bitten by a vampire breasts

o/o/ Grandma’s breasts

( – )( – ) Flat against the shower door breasts

|o||o| Android breasts

(/)(o) Scratched breasts (ouch)

(%)(o) Extra nipple breasts

($)($) Jenny McCarthy’s breasts

(^o)(o) Zit on your breast

( o Y o ) Poses for Playboy magazine breasts

This guy walks into a bar and two steps in, he realizes it’s a gay bar. “But what the heck,” he says, “I really want a drink.”

When the gay waiter approaches, he says to the customer, “What’s the name of your penis?”

The customer says, “Look, I’m not into any of that. All I want is a drink.”

The gay waiter says, “I’m sorry but I can’t serve you until you tell me the name of your penis. Mine for instance is called ‘Nike,’ for the slogan, ‘Just Do It.’ That guy down at the end of the bar calls his ‘Snickers,’ because ‘It really Satisfies.”

The customer looks dumbfounded so the bartender tells him he will give him a second to think it over. The customer asks the man sitting to his left, who is sipping on a beer, “Hey bud, what’s the name of your penis?”

The man looks back and says with a smile, “TIMEX.”

The thirsty customer asks, “Why Timex?”

The fella proudly replies, “Cause it takes a lickin’ and keeps on tickin!”

A little shaken, the customer turns to the fella on his right, who is sipping a fruity Margarita and says, “So, what do you call your penis?”

The man turns to him and proudly exclaims, “FORD, because ‘Quality is Job 1.’ ” Then he adds, “Have you driven a Ford, lately?”

Even more shaken, the customer has to think for a moment before he comes up with a name for his penis. Finally, he turns to the bartender and exclaims, “The name of my penis is ‘Secret.’ Now give me my beer.”

The bartender begins to pour the customer a beer, but with a puzzled look asks, “Why secret?”

The customer says, “Because it’s STRONG ENOUGH FOR A MAN, BUT MADE FOR A WOMAN!”

Bill rents an apartment in New York, and goes to the lobby to put his name on the group mailbox. While there, an attractive young lady comes out of the apartment next to the mailboxes wearing a robe. Bill smiles at the young girl and she strike up a conversation with him. As they talk, her robe slips open, and it quite obvious that she has nothing on under the robe. Poor Bill breaks out into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact. After a few minutes, she places her hand on his arm and says, “Let’s go in my apartment, I hear someone coming…”

He proceeds her into the apartment, and after she closes the door, she leans against it allowing her robe to fall completely open. She purrs at him, “What would you say is my best feature?”

The flustered, embarrassed Bill stammers, clears his throat several times, and finally squeaks out, “Oh, it’s got to be your ears!”

She’s astounded! “Why my ears? Look at these boobs! They are full, don’t sag, and they’re all mine! My butt – it’s firm doesn’t sag, and has no cellulite! Look at this skin, no blemishes, or scars! Why in heaven’s name would you say my ears are the best part of my body?!”

Clearing his throat once again, Bill stammers, “Outside when you said you heard someone coming? Well, that was me!!!”

Q: How is a man like a snow fall?

A: You never know how many inches you’ll get or how long it will last.

Q: Why is a joke like pussy?
A: Neither’s any good if you don’t get it.



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