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Scott finally got his girlfriend into bed, and things were going hot and heavy. “Slow down, baby,” she said. “Foreplay is an art.”

“You better get your canvas ready soon,” he panted, “because I’m about to spill my paint!”

Q: What’s the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
A: Oral sex makes your whole day, anal sex makes your hole weak.

There was a large nuclear accident and one of the worlds largest
cities was totally
destroyed. There were millions of people dead it was a real tragedy.
With that many people
of course things got backed up at the pearly gates, where they have to
interview everyone.
The people were lined up for miles. Then at the front of the line a
large cheer went up, and
there was much rejoicing. Of course the people at the back of the line
were curious about
what was happening. Finally one man stepped out and called toward the
front of the line,
“what’s going on?” Someone called back “They ain’t gonna count

Q: Why can’t lesbians wear makeup and go on a diet at the same time?
A: Because it’s hard to eat Jenny Craig with Mary Kay on your face.

Q: Why do gay men have moustaches?

A: To hide the stretchmarks.

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