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Q: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do. What am I?
A: A Tent

A Scottish private walks into the pharmacy near his bases, pulls a
beat-up, mutilated condom out of his pocket, and asks the pharmacist how
much it would cost to repair the condom.
The pharmacist replied that including replacing the band and spot
welding the holes, it would cost 26 pence, but that for 29 pence, he
could sell the private a new one.
The private said, “Aye, that is a weighty decision, I shall be back in
two hours with an answer.”
Two hours later, The Scotsman returns and says:
“The regiment has voted to replace.”

Q: Why was Joan Collins voted most popular girl at the US Cavalry dance?
A: Because she was mounted more times than the horses.

14) Snow White, Seven Dwarfs and a Webcam

13) The Knave Who Choked The Warrior Coach But Is Still Getting Many Pieces Of Gold

12) How To Make $5,000 A Week In Your Spare Time

11) Rapennzoil

10) The Emperor’s New Clothes from International Male

9) Booty and the Priest

8) The Supermodel and the Top 5 Contributor

7) Little Red Clitoral Hood

6) Bubba and the Slippery Zipper

5) Johnny Leatherpants and His Magic Nipple Clamps

4) Rumpledforeskin

3) The Ogres of Madison County

2) GoldieHawn and the 3 Plastic Surgeons

1) The Little Engine That Never Will (because the lazy bastard’s been a disappointment to me and his mother since day one!)

Q: What do an airport and a illegal abortion have in common?
A: The Hanger.



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