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Q: How do you piss your girlfriend of when your having sex?
A: Call her up

Q: What’s the definition of a real loser?
A: A guy who has a wet dream and gets HIV.

Q: What is the difference between girls aged: 8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58 and 68?
A:
At 8 – You take her to bed and tell her a story.
At 18 – You tell her a story and take her to bed.
At 28 – You don’t need to tell her a story to take her to bed.
At 38 – She tells you a story and takes you to bed.
At 48 – You tell her a story to avoid going to bed.
At 58 – You stay in bed to avoid her story.
At 68 – If you take her to bed, that’ll be a story!!

A veterinarian surgeon had had a hell of a day, but when he got home from tending to all the sick animals his wife was waiting with a long cool drink and a romantic candle- lit dinner, after which they had a few more drinks and went happily to bed.

At about 2:00 in the morning, the phone rang. “Is this the vet?” asked an elderly lady’s voice.

“Yes, it is”, replied the vet, “Is this an emergency?”

“Well, sort of”, said the elderly lady, “there’s a whole bunch of cats on the roof outside making a terrible noise mating and I can’t get to sleep. What can I do about it?”

There was a sharp intake of breath from the vet, who then patiently replied “Open the window and tell them they’re wanted on the phone”

“Really?” said the elderly lady, “Will that will that stop them?”

“Should do,” said the vet, “IT STOPPED ME!”

Q: How do you make a gay baby cry?

A: Take the pacifier out of his ass.



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